Everything...and More

Hi!

2010-01-02T17:57:00.002-06:00

Hey! Its me again folks! Yes I'm still around, just busy with life, new baby, work, moving in the near future.
I started a new blog. Something I think I can (hopefully) keep up more everyday versus writing about my life.
So go here if you want or not. :)

A quick update:

-Amelia will be 5 months old on Tuesday!! How crazy is that?!? Time really does fly by.
-She can roll from back to belly and belly to back.
-She loves to sit up or stand (assisted of course) The sitting up part she can do some, she atleast holds herself up well.
-She loves oatmeal and we've been thru all the veggie babyfood as well as bananas and applesauce. Just a few more left to try.
-She thinks the dogs are hilarious. She giggles especially at Sam alot. Even if hes just sitting across the room, she giggles. Its the funniest thing in the world!
-She was diagnosed with reflux at her 2 month appointment. But after a medicine adjustment and then a new medicine that didn't help. We switched to soy formula, which she was allergic too. So finally we settled with a lactose free formula and things are SO much better. She hasn't had her medicine in almost a week.

Thats all that comes to mind for now. This was supposed to be quick, right? :)

She's here...

2009-08-25T17:27:00.004-05:00

In reverse order: 8/23/09, the day her cord fell off.

At the hospital

Just moments after she was born. :)

I have a 3 wk old and I still haven't posted anything. I wrote out a big long "birth story," but I stink at writing, so I'll summarize for you. You don't really want the details, just the pics, right? :)

-I was induced on Aug 5th

-Already dilated 4 cm, was at my 37 and 38 wk appts

-Started pitocin at 6:30am

-Broke my water at 8:30am, was dilated to 5cm

-Decided I had to have the epidural, it was in by 9:30am, was 6cm

-At 11am, I was just a little shy of fully dilated, (9 3/4? lol), nurse went to help deliver another baby.

-Started pushing at 12, Dr almost didn't make it in time.

-At 1:10pm, Amelia was born

-7lbs, 13 oz, 20 1/4 inches

-She scored 8 and 9 on her apgars

-Lots of dark hair

Overall, labor and delivery was a pretty good experience. I didn't know what to expect, but truthfully, the whole process seemed, well easy. I dont know any better way to explain it than that. Before I laid back down from getting the epidural, I was already smiling again. In between pushing and contractions, Ben and I were joking with the nurse. I was saying how I was ready for lunch and we were all telling stories. Granted, yes it was a workout giving birth, but easier than I expected. Guess I watched too many episodes of those baby shows on TV, where people are in labor for hours and hours.

My recovery wasn't too bad. I was a little sore but didn't end up taking any of the pain meds afterwards. This shocked my OB. She checked on me the next day and called me "One tough momma." :)

I've lost 20lbs since then. I figure I'll gain some of that back. I won't be too upset if I don't. I'm surprisingly ok with my post baby body. Yeah its different but thats ok.

Call me weird but I actually have more self confidence after giving birth. I dont know why, and I'm probably strange, or its the hormones. I doubted if I'd actually be able to do it all, the pushing, dealing with the pain. Yeah, I had the epidural, which I was terrified to get, but it didn't take all the pain away. I had one spot where I could feel every contraction and it sucked, but I did know when to push. I guess, I'm kind of proud of myself. I'd totally do it all over again, preferably not for a long time though. :)

Another post, another time about life at home with a newborn and all that has happened.

I'm a slacker...

2009-07-24T18:26:00.002-05:00

Today marks 37 wks, which means I'm full term. YAY! Now the next few weeks are just extra "baking" time. Had an appointment today, got checked for any possible dilation. Well, hold on to your panties people, I'm 4 cm!! Yeah the dr was about as shocked as I was. She said I was between 3.5 and 4, but shes going with 4. Um, wow! I think I'm still in shock. The bag is now packed minus a few things that I was just gonna throw in last minute-toothbrush, hairbursh, etc.
Funny story: I was talking with a pregnant friend, shes due tomorrow, and was saying how great it would be if you could just go in and they say "Hey you're a 4, lets go to the hospital." I of course said that completely jokingly, because I never thought it would happen. Not to me. So, its kinda weird. Of course, I probably jinxed myself and will be at 4 forever. Or not, we'll see.

In other news, the nursery is done. Minus two things to hang on the wall. They will go up tonight. I need to take pics of it all completely and post them. Plus a belly shot. I haven't done that....I have some, just haven't bothered posting them.

I feel like I have to eat every 2 hrs now. Of course, I pee way more frequently. :) I have a new obsession with eating ice. I can't get enough. I actually had Ben go get me a Route 44 cup last night. :)

33 wks

2009-07-01T09:58:00.003-05:00

A little late, since on friday I'm 34 wks. Had a good appointment last week. Back with my usual doctor. :) I'm feeling pretty good these days. I feel, well pregnant. I suppose thats good though. She did restrict my driving, which means I'll be home a lot more. I'm ok with it for the most part. I have lots of things that need to be done around the house, other than just baby stuff.

Last night, I dont know what was wrong with me but I was antsy and didn't want to sit down. Nothing on tv, didn't want to sit outside. I really wanted to work on baby room stuff, but it was too late to start anything. I guess thats nesting? Theres only so many times you can go through the clothes and things and organize them. I've decided that we need to clean out the closet and then I'll hang some things up, keep some in drawers. I'm sure I'll totally re-do all of it once I get it where I think I want it. Plus what will work best for us, won't really become apparent til she gets here anyway.

Speaking of her getting here, I'm ready. No, not ready ready but I'm ready to meet her and see what she looks like and to have my own baby to hold in my arms. 6 wks to go!! She is head down and according to ultrasound has some hair. That would explain the indigestion/heartburn from everything.

We had an awesome shower this past sunday!! I was shocked with the clothes and how most people gave us bigger sizes, which was great! Most showers I've been too, people get all newborn or 0-3 month stuff. Its funny when people ask what do we need, I have trouble coming up with an answer. Not because we don't need anything, because there are still many things we need, I'm just not used to telling people directly what we need. I'm weird. LOL! I know there are things we don't need. Like receiving blankets, we have a ton. (Is there some other use for those things that I dont know about?) Of course, telling people what we don't need isn't exactly helpful either. Guess I could tell that we're registered at Target. That works, right?

I've been thinking about labor and delivery a little more recently. Its one of those things, you hear from others their experiences and things, and of course yours could or could not be different. I guess in a way, I'm a little nervous about it, but I think its just more "fear of the unknown" kinda thing. With Ben's job being so far away, I have to think of who I'd call if I needed to get to the hospital. I keep thinking, it'll happen on a day when no one is answering their phone. haha. Of course, the hospital is only 20 mins or so from here, so its not like I couldn't drive myself. Of course, I could go over and have to be scheduled for induction. So who knows. Birthing class is in 2 wks. I'm sure we'll both learn many things.

For all you moms out there, when did you pack your hospital bag? and what did you put in it??Any help would be great!!

31 weeks

2009-06-12T18:29:00.002-05:00

Today I had my 31 week appointment. It ended up being with another doctor, which initially I was fine with, but afterwards I didn't feel so great. Some of my concerns I voiced, figured most if not all was normal, but the whole time (which was maybe 10 mins) I felt like I was being pushed out the door. Since the last appointment, I've had some dizziness. Its happened just when I'm sitting down, not actually doing anything. Also, sometimes I've found my heart will just start racing and I have to catch my breath. I've had a headache everyday this week, just a dull one, nothing major but they don't seem to go away. Yesterday was the day that really got me. I haven't been sleeping well lately, so I'm incredibly tired. I've been having the braxton-hicks contractions, but yesterday I think they were real. They hurt and I actually had to stop for a minute and wait. Luckily, they were very random and only happened a few times but it kinda worried me a little.
Basically, she said the dizziness/headache stuff is probably all just sinus/allergy. Suggested meds to take for that. The rest, basically if it doesn't get worse I'm ok. I'll be glad to have my normal dr back for the next appointment.
My blood pressure was still normal. I'm only up 3lbs from last appt, so total weight gain 11 lbs I think. I haven't really been too concerned with it, nor has my dr. The one today, brought it up first thing. Thought it was weird, but whatever.
I'm hormonal, stressed and tired. Exhausted.

I feel like all I've done is complained. sorry I dont mean for it to sound that way, I'm not complaining, just sharing. :) The nursery is almost complete. We got a dresser in Monday and its almost put together. Then I'll have pics of everything!

sorry...

2009-06-03T20:51:00.003-05:00

I didn't put up the pics yet, but really all my readers have probably seen everything on my facebook anyway.

Ben got the job. Its 2 1/2 hrs away.
Our daycare that we had lined up is no more.
So we have to find someone to keep her til a daycare opens since some days we'll both need to leave by 5 am and no one opens that early. OR we find someone to keep her that early either in our house or theirs. We have nothing in the works. He doesn't get home til 6:30 and some nights I've gotten home as late as 8. Those are the days that I usually leave around 5.

Needless to say I'm stressed out and hormonal...not a good mix. The crying for no reason and can't stop has pretty much started. Which sucks.

I dont know where to go from here but she's coming in about 10 wks and we've got nothing...

28 wks 5 days

2009-05-27T09:17:00.003-05:00

Yes, things are moving quickly, atleast I think so.
Last week I had my glucose test, 4D ultrasound and regular check-up.
Things are looking good:
BP-110/65-I think my blood pressure is actually lower when I'm pregnant! haha
Weight: I'm only up 8 lbs so far. I'm sure I'll gain a ton now that I'm in the last trimester. Last trimester, thats crazy to think I'm here already!!
Amelia according to the ultrasound weighed 2lbs 11 oz and is measuring a week ahead.
Glucose test: passed! :) I have to say the drink wasn't too awful. I didn't get the orange, lemon lime instead. It just tasted like funky sprite.
Also, a bonus that day, I had a dentist appointment. No cavities!

The ultrasound was really cool. We got a CD with pictures, VHS (can't even play that in our own house!) and printed color and black and white pictures. She had her foot in front of her head! Craziest thing ever!! I was just really glad she wasn't face down.

We also have her room painted, crib assembled, bedding out (still no matress). Our glider now has a chocolate brown slip cover which looks great!!

Pictures later tonight, but I gotta get ready for work now.

On a side note, anyone update their blogger from iphone? I had an app that I tried but had no luck. Suggestions?

AND hopefully friday we'll hopefully find out if Ben got a new job!

I apolgize...

2009-04-29T22:03:00.001-05:00

for my improper use of there, they're and their.

That is one of my biggest pet peeves and yet I noticed I did it wrong. I blame it on excessive texting.

:)

Baby's room possibilites.

2009-04-29T10:14:00.004-05:00

Here's the bedding I have ordered.

Here's the crib. None of the furniture will be matchy matchy. We're using a dresser I've had since I was little for storage and as a changing table. We'll have a small bookcase given to us by my grandparents and then possibly the glider from my aunt. If not that one, we'll buy one thats cherry, so it'll kinda match the crib. Part of me wants the furniture to match but I've decided that 1)Amelia doesn't care and won't for a while, 2) theres no way we could paint all of it to match the cherry crib (the crib is new and will not be painted). I had originally thought we'd paint the dresser a chocolate brown but after holding up a piece of the crib next to the dresser, really nothing will match. So we'll have the mismatched furniture nursery. I've looked at too many pictures of what I call "put together nuseries," so in my head thats what I want. But I'm accepting it and getting over it...lol.

My main issue is deciding on wall color. Currently its a yellowy gold color, so it definitely needs to be painted. I had first thought a neutral tanish color because I didn't want bubble gum pink walls. BUT I went and looked at paint samples and saw some really cute light pinks that could work. I call them neutral pinks...I think I created that term. I just mean that they're so light, there pink but not "Oh my gosh, thats a pink room." Then I had the suggestion of a light green too...which I like as well. SO......what do you guys think I should do?? The room is kinda small too, if that matters. The trim, closet doors, and baseboards are all a cream color.

I saw one room where they used three different shades of yellow and painted the darkest on bottom, then lighter and then lightest on top for the room. I thought that could look cute in pink, maybe. Someone suggested maybe doing pink, then doing horizontal strips with a clear coat over what you've already done. I'm majorly indecisive, can't you tell??

Since the bedding has cherry like blossoms on it, I had seen on etsy the wall decals. Thought maybe a tree one would be cute, depending on how expensive they are of course.

Those are my painted drawer pulls. I had intentions of using them on the dresser just to update the hardware, since they don't make any in the size we need. But I may use them for something else and just leave the hardward thats there. The darker pink isnt as neon in real life, its just my camera phone.

Suggestions, ideas, anything?

Life

2009-04-29T09:10:00.002-05:00

Just a quick run down of whats going on lately...

-Baby is doing great. Kicking like crazy. I have actually seen my stomach move. Thats really cool and kinda creepy at the same time.
At my last appointment, I was only up either 1/2 a pound or a whole pound. My blood pressure must have been fine because they didn't even tell me what it was or the baby's heartbeat. It honestly felt like the shortest appointment ever. I even had several questions for the doc. We're signed up for the childbirth class. Nursery progress is....well there is none. We have the room mostly cleaned out, I just can't decide on a paint color. I have the bedding ordered and have even painted a few things to go in the room, but I just can't commit to the wall color. Someone should just decide for me. please :) I'll make a separate post of what the bedding is and stuff and maybe you decorator people can help.

-I did get an iPhone. For free :). Now I must explain how, which is something I actually never blogged about. WAY back in March, Ben and I went to Cleveland for me to receive a national award from my company. Basically, throughout the year, my company has a reward system where you can get nominated by other co-workers from any level in the company for doing things above and beyond your job duties. They have three levels-bronze, silver, gold. At the end of the year, they take all the people in your region that have won silver and gold and the managers nominate who they think should win. So I was originally nominated by two managers, both from other states for traveling to do some extra work last year. Short story here-I got picked for my region/area. They usually have a big national company meeting where every person who wins and all the management come out for several days to do whatever. This year, they separated it by region. So we flew to Cleveland, met lots of people, including the CEO of the company and had a fancy dinner and got my award. I got a little trophy, some money and 50,000 american express reward points. One of my options for my reward points was a gift card for an iphone. And thats how I got the iphone. Wow I talk to too much. lol
I've only had the phone about 2 weeks. I like it, still figuring out apps that I want. Suggestions?

-Crappy news last wednesday. Ben got laid off from his job. Unfortunately, I found out while I was at work. Which sucked cuz I'm emotional even when I'm not pregnant and the hormones. WOW...can we say cry instantly now. I think I'm pretty much past the crying stage and the angry stage. Just so many things were and have been running through my head. Like: well there goes our insurance. Where is our child going to sleep? We have no place for her to sleep. Yes we have a crib but no matress. No diapers. Nothing to bring her home in from the hospital. *sigh* Yes I've gathered myself and gotten over that freakout moment. Atleast for now. If he still doesn't have a job closer to when she gets here and we still haven't bought all those things, freak out again. I'm sure. Well I'll probably have it again even if all those things are in place. I think thats just normal. I did get the benefits worked out through my work. The baby stuff will just have to be figured out as we go and budgeted. Thats life. I'm trying not to stress and think about it too much. Its hard but I'm hopeful he'll find something new soon. We're not the only ones in this situation and I gotta remember that too.

Evil Stores...

2009-04-05T10:29:00.002-05:00

Kohls' is evil. They put the very very small selection of maternity clothes RIGHT next to all the cute baby stuff. So I ended up with nothing for myself and I think around 5 or 6 outfits for the baby. I did only spend $30 so that makes it ok and she has to have clothes. :)

These stores know what they're doing...

I have 3 sticks of butter in my belly!

2009-03-31T10:34:00.000-05:00

Haha! Before any of you think I've gone and had a weird craving for butter (eww), that is how much my baby weighs as of saturday. 12 oz or 3 sticks of butter. On saturday, a good friend/former co-worker offered to do a little free look and we got some much better ultrasound pictures of little Amelia. The night before, I had a dream that she wasn't a she! Instead she was a he! But she's definitely still a she! One great shot we got was of our sweet little innocent daughter flipping us off! Yep, she was. Atleast that's what it looked like! Haha!! Then the next 5 mins of video is of me laughing, looks like there's an earthquake going on my belly.

I have to say the coolest part of being pregnant, is feeling the baby move. Its a very weird feeling, like gas bubbles. I've been feeling her for a while, started when I was about 18 wks. It was very very random then. Now its a little more frequent. If I drink two diet cokes in one day, she's really hyper. I usualy feel the most movement when I'm going to bed, but I feel now just randomly through the day. Hopefully ben can feel it soon, so far not, but I think he will soon. That will bring about a whole other post on people touching the belly. I'm sure you're on the edge of your seat for that one!

I must get back to work! This is my first post from my phone, so I apologize if it looks funny or anything.
Also, you iphone users (steph and who ever else) tell me what you think! Yay or nay?! I'm considering getting one!

Its a....

2009-03-20T17:06:00.002-05:00

GIRL!!!

Yep, we're going to have a daughter! :) She is measuring right on track. She weighs all of 10 oz, which the tech said is actually 2 oz ahead of where she should be. She looks perfect! A little stubborn though. Her head was way down and the tech needed her to move. She tried to get her to move, didn't work. So we may have a stubborn little girl on our hands. :)

I'll post our pics later, once I get them scanned. Also, since we had a pretty good idea it was a girl last week, I returned some pants to Kohl's and ended up getting some really adorable onsies. I'll show those off too! :)

Her name: Amelia Jordan

This is starting to feel real. I like it! :)

just a few things....

2009-03-10T21:21:00.002-05:00

Some "perks" of working in my field are getting a sneak peek at my baby without going to the doctor. I dont abuse it or anything, but I was getting really impatient with only having seeing our child as a blob. So this past week I got to see what he or she looked like. A baby! Imagine that! A real baby, with a head, spine, arms, legs, hands and feet. Even a beating heart (didn't doubt that since I've heard it). It was cool. I even have it on video!! :) Next week is the big ultrasound to mearsure the baby and hopefully find out the sex. Of course, in my sneak peek, we did see if we could see anything down there. I'm not gonna reveal what we saw or didn't see just yet. You will all have to wait til next friday! :) And if you know, don't tell! :) We do have names picked out for either sex. Official word in a week or so what we're having!! YAY!

Well my just a few things, is just one.

Celine Dion Concert Pics

2009-02-25T18:59:00.004-06:00

They're totally backwards as far as order but I'm too tired to change it...sorry. you'll still get the idea.

2009-02-25T18:48:00.002-06:00

Its been almost a month since I've said anything, I apologize. I've had many days where I've had ideas of stuff to post but I just haven't. I'll give you a brief summary of the highlights over the last month.

We survived the ice storm. The first night without power, we just stayed here and cuddled for warmth. The dogs suprisingly put off alot of heat, so it was toasty warm. We got up though and it was pretty cold in the house. The second day we went to my parents where they had a gas heater and gas grill. Ended up staying the night. Grilled pizza's, chili, lots of things. My dad even made coffee on the grill. haha. The next day, Thursday, we went by the house late that night to get some extra stuff for staying at my parents and the power was on! I was freaking out!! Turned on every light just because I could! So we ended up staying at our house that night. We were very lucky to get power that quickly! I know lots of people that went alot longer.

The next week was the Celine Dion concert!! Couldn't find anyone to take my extra ticket, won't get into that..ugh! Our seats were AWESOME!!! The concert was in the round and had catwalks off to the side. There was ONE row of seats between us and the stage. We could touch her! Take as many pics as we wanted! It was awesome!! Can I emphasize that anymore?!?! The whole concert was great! The next day Lindsey and I went ice skating. That was fun. I held on to the rail and only went around once. But it was still fun. Lindsey did really well. She was skating around not even holding on to anything. Overall, we had a great time and I would totally see Celine in concert again! I'll post pics soon.

I also had another dr's appt. Heartbeat was 152. I'm only up 2 lbs from before I was pregnant. Yay! And my blood pressure is actually lower than before I was pregnant. Nothing really big at the appointment. Heard the heartbeat, chit-chatted with the dr, asked questions. We did get to schedule the big ultrasound!! YAY! It will be March 20th. I'm counting down the days. Hopefully Baby W will cooperate so we can find out if we're having a boy or girl. We do have names picked out for both. We're going shopping the day after the ultrasound. Mainly to see what nursery furniture we like, then we're coming back and ordering it online. I'm sure I'll be buying a few outfits too!

Ok, I think thats its...celine pics next!

Desperate!

2009-01-31T14:33:00.002-06:00

OK-so I've had tickets to see Celine Dion in St. Louis for a while. I have an extra one and need someone to go. The ticket is free. Great seats. Concert is Feb 4th @ 8pm at the Scottrade Center. Or you are free to ride with Lindsey and I there. We have a hotel room for that night, which if you rode w/us, you'd be welcome to stay in, for free as well. Basically, this whole thing is free to you, except meals. Unless of course you drove yourself, etc. SO...who wants to go?? Someone, please!!!

i'm bad..

2009-01-22T15:45:00.002-06:00

So I've kinda avoided my blog, only because I've been really tired and really busy. Plus, lack of things to write about. I'll sum it up for you though.

Work has finally picked back up, hence the tired and busy parts. The last 3 wks have involved 12 hr days, which the bank account doesn't mind of course. But me, well those long days are rough when you have to get up at 4 am the next day. I'm very grateful for it picking up, I can definitely deal with it for a while. :)

Last week, I had my first appointment with my regular OB. She was so excited for us. It kind of freaked me out at first. Most doctors seem like they care but not as much as she did. It was genuine too. Which was very nice. I've always been happy since switching to this doctor and now I'm really happy I did. The appointment was pretty short. I got free stuff-reading material and some other things. The best part was hearing the baby's heartbeat. The nurse couldn't find it right away but when she did, very cool to hear!! The heartbeat was 168! The funniest part was at checkout, where you get to go start paying for the baby. LOL! I told the insurance lady that this was the "Yay you're having a baby, now you have to pay for it."

Nothing else really going on. Hopefully I'll update more often now.

Pictures!

2009-01-04T20:34:00.002-06:00

So wednesday we went and I had an ultrasound to see our little one. Heartbeat was 146 and baby measured 7wk and 4days. The doctor said my due date is Aug 14, 2009. Of course that could change over time but thats the estimate. There wasn't alot to see on the pictures sinces the baby is so small (about 1/2 inch) but it was still cool. Got to see the heartbeat but not hear it. So I'll defintely be anxious to hear it next time. I think we got the crap ultrasound machine that day. I have to say seeing those images was a great end to 2008.

This was the first year in a long time that we didn't do anything for new years. We had supper with relatives and then went home and watched some movies. Ok, Ben watched, I fell asleep. Thursday we finally took down all the Christmas stuff, so now the house is back to normal.

Now I'll leave you with pictures of our baby!

It's been a while...

2008-12-30T16:25:00.002-06:00

I had to get in atleast one post before 2009. Nothing much to write about these days. I doubt you want to read about my nausea, excessive trips to the bathroom, and what I'm enjoying eating.

Oh well, you get to anyway, well some of it. I can't say that I've really been sick. I just learned that when I'm hungry eat, doesn't have to be a huge meal, but if I don't then I dont feel so well. So if its 10am and I think I can wait til noon to eat, I can't. I feel like a bottomless pit somedays. I really have been enjoying grapes and oranges and triscuits. Not together. Chicken is my friend. Beef is not!! Only puked once, but I think it was just a bad burger. Smells are a big thing, I actually made Ben go get groceries because just the thought of all that did not set well with me. Wal-Mart was torture! Between the cologne and food, yuck!

Hope everyone had a great Christmas! Ours was good. I missed getting together with Ben's family on Christmas Eve because I wasn't feeling well.

This past weekend, Lindsey, Heath, Ben and I went to see Jeff Dunham live. It was a great show! Guitar Guy is really good, he was the opener. I think the show was definitely worth the drive plus we got to see snow! We went from 70 degrees here to below freezing and snow! I really want to play in it but we didn't.

Tomorrow, I have a Dr's appt and ultrasound. So thats exciting. Hoping to have pictures to show!!

Best Christmas Present EVER!!!

2008-12-16T08:23:00.004-06:00

We were planning on starting Clomid once I got my period. Well.....I never did. :) I told myself I'd wait til Friday to take a pregnancy test. I actually used my only one in the house the day before our RE appointment, just to see if I had an excuse to cancel the appointment. It was negative, but it also would've been too early anyway. So a week later I had Ben go buy some more tests. I was still planning on waiting til Friday but figured what the heck. I had this feeling that I was pregnant, I just felt like I was. Granted, I've never been pregnant, so I dont know what that feels like. BUT, I took the test. Results showed soooo quickly. I sprinted out of the bathroom and pretty much threw the test in Ben's face. He was on the computer not paying any attention.

I started laughing/crying/hyperventilating all at the same time. He was shocked. We hugged and laughed. I was still holding the test and Ben finally said "You peed on that thing?!?!" DUH!

So...a great Christmas present and Anniversary present. Our 4 year wedding anniversary is tomorrow!

I couldn't sleep that night of course, so about 1 am I got up and took another test, just to make sure I wasn't dreaming. ;) I ended up taking all 3 in the box. When am I gonna use them again? Atleast not soon for sure.

I had my blood test on Friday, came back with great numbers. So Friday night we told our parents. We got a folding picture frame and put in a pic of us and on the other side put "Merry Christmas from the three of us." Both sets of parents were very excited. We told the rest of the family Saturday. So its been a busy busy weekend. Exciting and busy!

I haven't let myself get overly obsessed with looking at baby stuff yet, but I have a snow day today, I'm guessing it will happen. :)

I know everyone has questions, so here is my FAQ. I should've done this before announcing and then printed it and handed to everyone. :)

Q: When did you find out?

A: 12/10/08

Q: When is your due date?

A: What I can calculate says August 13, 2009. That will probably change

Q: How far along are you?

A: approx 6 weeks. I haven't had an ultrasound yet so those are just my calculations

Q: Is it a boy or girl?

A: Its way too early to know that

Q: Do you have names picked out?

A: Yes, only for a girl though. I have some boy ideas but nothing I'm set on. I do have a little while to decide though.

Q: Are you excited?

A: OF COURSE!!!! I think Ben is more excited than I am, if thats possible.

Q: How are you feeling?

A: Great! Hoping I dont get sick!

For now I'm still going to the RE. They gave me the choice, since we hadn't done any treatments. Go to them for first 10 weeks then go to OB. Or just go straight to OB. I stuck with RE because I figured we could get in faster as far as ultrasound and things.

Now for pictures!!

First test!

Cell phone pic of all 3

Cell Phone pic of what we gave our parents

Heres Ben's grandma after we told her. Theres a small story to this one. We went for her birthday. This was all Ben's idea by the way. Right before we left, we stood for a picture.

Ben said, "What do we say when we take a picture?"

His grandma, "Cheese?!"

Ben "No, Leah what do we say?"

Me "Leah's pregnant!"

Then the picture was snapped. It was funny! Ben's parents were the only ones there that knew. So it was a suprise for everyone.

Neglected

2008-12-16T08:09:00.004-06:00

Yes, my blog has been neglected. I have good excuses. Busy, boring, busy and still boring. I figured you didn't want to hear about my numerous dr's visits. I'll make it the short version.

Eyes-haven't really changed in 4 yrs

Went for my wrist/arm-fam dr sent me to ortho-he thinks its a nerve in my elbow. So I've got meds to take, but I can't take them now. I'll explain why later.

RE-were planning to start Clomid once I start my period. Don't go back til March. Of course that has changed now as well. Thats a separate blog. :)

Our Christmas tree and decorations went up a few days after Thanksgiving. We haven't put up the big tree since 2005, so i was pretty excited. I have pics of that to show you.

I started the Twilight series right around Thanksgiving. Finished the first 3 books rather quickly. I'm on Breaking Dawn right now, but its taking me a while to get it finished. It is a long long book though. Thats my excuse. :)

Not the best pictures of our tree and stuff but it'll do for now. Much prettier in person!

Guess what?!?!

2008-12-02T08:55:00.002-06:00

I haven't posted about my weight loss in a while, though it was time. I did actually quit paying for Weight Watchers, but I've still kind of kept up with it. AND...stepped on the scale this morning....

I've lost 18lbs!!

Yes its taken me a while, but thats totally ok, since I haven't put it back on. 2 more lbs til 20 lost! I can't believe it!!

I totally pigged out at Thanksgiving too, seconds and everything. Very little dessert but I still ate. So I'm shocked really!!

Just had to share! :)

What I did Friday...

2008-12-01T12:51:00.011-06:00

The baking bug bit me and I made some stuff, instead of going shopping with all the Black Friday crazies (no offense to anyone that went).

First I did pumpkin pie. I used fresh pumpkin in the recipe. For the pie crust, I used my grandma's recipe that is super easy! I decided I'm not a fan of pumpkin pie. It smells good but I'm not a fan of the texture. Ben says it was good and his co-workers liked it as well. So yay!!

Second, I made a cake. Sorta. I got the recipe from Rachael Ray's magazine. It started with gingersnap pancakes. I took gingersnap cookies and crushed them up and added them to pancake batter. You also add cocoa to the batter, thats why they're dark.

Then, I made whipped cream and added some espresso to it for some flavor.

Now, the chocolate sauce.

Then you take a pancake, put it on your plate or whatever you're serving it on. Add whippped cream, then add pancake and repeat until you use all of them. I had 9 total, I think the recipe had 8. Close enough.

Then you cover with your chocolate sauce. I think my chocolate either wasn't cool enough or something because it was very runny. The picture in the magazine made it look thicker than mine so the next picture looks really awful. Its messy, but aren't the best foods messy?!? :) I apologize for my poor presentation.

Ben also took it to work where half was eaten. So it must've been good. He said before it got out of the driveway half of it had slid off, so it was even messier when it got to work. Oh well!!

I also made these cookies. Yes I was busy, but glad to be for sure!

I'm proud of myself because out of all of it, all I ate was one bite of pumpkin! YAY!

I am not in control

2008-11-28T12:57:00.004-06:00

and it bugs the crap out of me!! Yes I have control issues, don't we all? Lately, our fertility issues, or lack of them, (I dont know if we can say we have any anymore, even though we're not pregnant) has really been on my mind. It was open enrollment time for insurance at work, so I had to decide what to do about coverage or lack there-of. Mine covers nothing infertility related. Honestly it didn't seem to cover much of anything, anything related. Ben's does or will as long as some things are medically documented, so we were discussing me switching to his. While doing my "research" I found that my current insurance will pay for an abortion but not anything infertility. That makes no sense to me and I won't go further with that because thats a whole other blog. The cost coming out of our paychecks will still be the same, so nothing lost there. Also, the new will have a lower deductible, which will be nice. The only thing is that I may have issues with them saying I have pre-existing, (I dont really know why, but I might) so in that case you have to wait 12-18 months for them to give you coverage for that, if I understood correctly. So, if thats the case, and it requires us to wait another year to do anything at the RE, I'm ok with it. Our pocketbooks will appreciate it as well. :)

I am a little frustrated these days. Since we know now that we're both ok and should be able to have kids just like everyone else, I don't know where we will go from here. I don't know what the next dr's appt will be like, what he will suggest or anything. I do know we can't afford it and we are leaning towards not going anymore. Which also frustrates me. Its like we got the ball rolling but we can't do anything else. I know it will all work out, I just have to be patient. I'm working on it. Somedays are much better than others.

Happy Thanksgiving!!

2008-11-27T17:02:00.003-06:00

I hope everyone has a great day with friends and family. Don't eat too much food! :)

I've already had two dinners, one to go. I'm stuffed. Probably won't eat tonight.

Here are the pics of Lilly in the tutu.

More to come later...

Randoms

2008-11-23T10:24:00.004-06:00

It's been a while, so long in fact, I had to go read my last post to see what even happened.
Lots of things, but then again, not really anything.

One of Ben's co-workers, Amy, made Lilly a Tutu. It's cute, she wasn't a big fan of it in the beginning, but eventually she started moving. It was quite funny to watch. It'll make a cute Halloween costume for sure! Amy makes tutu's for all ages, so if you want one hit her up on her blog. She also does I-Spy bags. These are really cool and make quiet activities for the little ones during church and different things.

I came home friday to a pretty little package from Bryn over at Newlywedisms by Bryn. She had a blog givaway to celebrate her blogaversary and I was one of the winners. My prize were these cute little marble magnets. They are super easy to make and really cute! If you saw me at Hobby Lobby yesterday, (you know who you are ;)) thats what I was getting. My only complaints are the magnets I bought, some of them are directional and I picked the wrong side!! I'll have to find some more! AND I might just have a blog giveaway for all my loyal (few) readers. :)

Thanksgiving will be here next week, I'm not excited. I'm not un-excited either, its just not my holiday. It marks my second anniversary at my job (yay for a raise!) but also some other things that happened on my first day of work. My grandpa had been sick on Thanksgiving and was brought into the hospital on my first day of work. He was the 2nd patient I ever did, or attempted. I had to leave, luckily there were two other people there to work that day as well. So the next two weeks or so were rough. I knew what the outcome was going to be and thought I was ok with it. I'm a keep it all in person, and I kept it all in, still some of it two years later. I took on the roll of the tough one for those two weeks because I felt I needed to for my grandma's sake. Even when I wanted to cry, others made me feel bad for it, like it wasn't acceptable to cry. I have alot of regrets that surround the whole situation which is why I think I can't let go and be okay with it all. Its something I'll have to get over. And I will, theres nothing I can do about it now.

This weekend has to be one of the best weekends I've had in a long time. I got to hang out with some great friends, play some new games and just have fun. No stress at all! The stress will come when I make that trip to the grocery store for Thanksgiving food. Ben and I discussed going really really late when all the crazies are gone. I know when we were out and about saturday it was nuts! I'm glad I like online shopping! :)

Pictures of things next...well tomrrow.

Sushi, Make-up, Hot Chocolate, and Friends

2008-11-12T19:17:00.003-06:00

Thats my day in a nutshell. I'll elaborate though because sushi and hot chocolate don't really go together.

Lindsey, Courtney and I all went out to lunch today. We ended up having Fuji's. If you've never been there go, its awesome!! Lindsey decided to order the spicy tuna roll. I've never had sushi, nor did I really ever have intentions of eating any, but I did. AND I actually liked it. I'm not a big spicy fan but it was good. No bad nasty fishy taste about it. Texture wasn't even bad. So I can now say I've eaten sushi, didn't hate it. I'm not so sure I'd just up and order it as a meal but I'm not ruling it out as something I'd never eat again. If you know me, thats huge! I mean huge! I'm that person that doesn't like lettuce. Yes, I'm weird, but I think the stuff is yucky. I'll eat it occasionally, but I'm not the order a salad person. I even said this today. "I actually liked the sushi better than lettuce." Lindsey has it recorded as proof. LOL!

We also did some shopping. I've been wanting to get the Bare Minerals makeup thanks to recommendations from Linds and Court. So I technically bought my Christmas present today. So far I really like it, but what I have on is what the lady put on me. I'll try it myself tomorrow.

We went to Cafe Buono. The lady who made my hot chocolate did an AWESOME job!! I have to say thats some of the best I've ever had. The strawberry cake with strawberry icing was wonderful as well!!

It was a pretty great day minus the lovely rain. I'm ready for Christmas stuff. I've been scouting out a few things and then thinking how I could DIY them for so much cheaper. :)

This is random but I learned that there is a word I don't like. Teat. Earlier Ben and I were watching "How it's made" on Discovery and they were showing how cows are milked. The commentator kept saying that word. I dont like it. I told Ben it sounded like a bad word. I just had to share. :)

2008-11-12T08:00:00.000-06:00

Went to the doctor yesterday for my ear. They've been bothering me since Saturday and I figured ear infection. I can't really hear out of the left one, right is ok now. I was having some lovely dizziness to go along with it. I got some nasal spray and am supposed to start taking that.

Yesterday I did I good thing. After almost 4 years of not living with my parents, I finally cleaned out my closet in their house. We got rid of alot of clothes. Donated some and took my old prom dresses to a consignment shop. The only things I brought home were some high school keepsake type shirts and a few pairs of shoes. Also my flute. I think my mom is excited to have more closet space now. It was interesting seeing some of the clothes I used to wear. I dont remember ever wearing a medium, but I apparently did. That made me a little sad, because I used to think I was fat then. If I had only known. I still have one bookshelf in there with annuals and pictures that I need to go through. Maybe another day.

The Celine concert was rescheduled for Feb which works out GREAT!!!! :)

Mondays suck

2008-11-10T17:29:00.002-06:00

Celine Dion concert has been postponed.

I'll elaborate now. Yesterday was one of those mondays where I should've stayed in bed. Started off with me not being able to find my glasses before I left for work. I can totally see without them but I knew I'd have a headache before the day was over. Went to work, got behind from the beginning. I had gotten myself a doctors appt for after work and getting behind in the morning could ruin the rest of the day. Short story, I canceled my appt and will be going this morning. Sad thing is yesterday was so crazy that I can't remember what time she told me to be there. 9:15 or 9:50? So I'm showing up at 9:15 to be safe. I have nothing better to do.

In the middle of yesterdays chaos, I get a lovely email from Ticketmaster saying our concert has been postponed. ?!?!?!?! I have to call and hope that I can get a refund on my hotel room, otherwise I'd being going to St. Louis for the heck of it. Why let a room go to waste? The lady was awesome, knew why we were cancelling and I'm getting all my money back. YAY! The downside is that we don't know when they will potentially reschedule the concert. My tickets are still good and all, but I dont know if I'll be able to get off work. Crossing my fingers that it all works out. So now I'm off work til Friday. I tried to go in Wed but the person working for me really wants to work, which I can understand. We all need the money these days. I had to use some vacation time, which I would have done anyway, so I guess it all works out.

Now what to do for 3 days? Cleaning is an option, but who really wants to do that? I'm sure I'll find something to occupy my time.

no title...well i guess this is one...

2008-11-06T20:25:00.002-06:00

I guess I techinically lied about the new blog layout. I had some code to make it into a three column layout but I haven't managed to figure it out yet. I probably won't either. So for now, you get what you've gotten.

Nothing exciting going on in my life this week. I got my haircut today. Its different. She took some length off and I have bangs. Not cut straight across bangs. Sweep to the side ones that aren't too short, just right in my opinion. Next time, I might get dangerous and get highlights! I love how everytime I go in, she talks about how healthy my hair is and that I need to damage it. Cracks me up!! So I told her that next time, I'm seriously considering damaging it. It'll be subtle though, nothing outrageous for my first time. Lindsey and I got her really good today. Shes expecting a baby in about a month, so we decided to get her a gift. We called her up after our appointment and told her we needed to come back in to get our hair magazines. Secretly, we just wanted to make sure she'd be there later in the day. So, we go to target, throw together a really cute baby gift basket and run back to our hair place. We walk in with the basket and all she says is "Here are your magazines." Then she sees the basket and we both tell her we don't care one bit about those magazines. I think she was really surprised. :)

I started my 101 things in 1001 days list. I dont know if anyone has heard of this but the link is here. Some of my blogs I read have started one and I figured why not try it. I have a list started, some of my things already finished, but I can't seem to get 101 yet. I'm gonna post it on here and use my blog to keep up with what I've done. That'll be coming soon.

Its 8:30p, I honestly could've gone to bed an hour ago. This time change has really really screwed me up. I do have to get up at 4am, so it'd probably be a good thing to go to bed now.

Halloween Pictures

2008-11-03T18:03:00.002-06:00

Busy, Busy, Busy!!

2008-11-02T20:33:00.003-06:00

Thats pretty much my week in one word: busy! I'll give you somewhat of a re-cap.

Monday-Extremely slow day at work. Carrie Underwood concert was that night. It ended up being me, lindsey, courtney and kalia (my friends daughter) going. Didn't get to bed til about 11 (i think) that night.

Tuesday-Got up at 4:30a for a two hr drive to work. The whole day of worked was horrible. Not because of lack of sleep, although that didn't help, but just the situations and patients and crap. I didn't get lunch til 4pm that day. I'm not sure why I really bothered that late but given I had had no breakfast, I figured it would be a good thing.

Wednesday-work again. I dont really remember wednesday to be honest with you. Its a blur.

Thursday-I worked again. Had to get up at 4:30 again. Another incredibly long day. I only got lunch because the dept secretary offered to grab something from the cafeteria for me. Thank goodnesss for her. I didn't get home that night til almost 8pm! (yes, I signed up for this job, but somedays I'm allowed to hate it and complain about it) :)

Friday-my day off. Should've been a day to rest but I had lots of things to do for Halloween. Also lindsey came over and we ordered t-shirts for the Celine concert. :) They're cute and I will of course have pics of them as soon as they're done. Had the halloween party that night. Pics at some point of course. Got to bed at midnight.

Saturday-woke up at 6 to go to work. I hate working saturdays. After work we baked cookies. Millions of them. Next week is Radiologic Technologist Week. Instead of mass ordering something for all of clients for work, my boss had the idea to do homemade stuff. So Ben, Lindsey and I baked saturday. I think Lindsey left at like 10 pm. So it was a very busy day.

So all in all I've been crazy busy...waiting for that day I can sleep in later than 6 am.

In attempts at making a baby news, this week we found out that our problem is not a problem anymore. Which is great but I also feel like we're back at square one. We had a "plan" or idea of where to go from here, now its back to "Well they should have no problem getting pregnant on their own, so whats up?" Which makes this whole thing frustrating. I actually chose this time not to talk to anyone about it, well other than my mom, because I'm just exhausted with thinking and talking about it. I dont really do much of either but along with my crappy weeks at work, I dont feel like re-living the information with each of the people I talk to it about. Atleast not this week. Next week I may feel like talking about it, but this week I dont. I feel like internalizing it all and getting it out later. I have no time to get it out and deal with it anyway. I'm tired of the "just be patient" and "relax, dont think about it" answers. I know all of these things, really I do. I've been patient and I dont honestly think about it as much as it may come across here. (unsure of how it even comes across) I think about it when we get a new information (good or bad) and that is when I dwell, then I get over it. I'm trying to tell myself that its just not our time to have kids yet, we're not ready and God has other plans for us. I guess maybe I should ask people to be patient with me, when I want to talk about it I will, and if I dont, don't take it personally. Its me and I will when I want to and when I need to.

Its just been a rough week, I need lots of sleep and I'll be better. Pictures soon and a new layout!

My weekend

2008-10-27T15:41:00.005-05:00

This weekend we headed to the local fall festival. We hung out, got to see some people I hadn't talked to in a while. Caught up with some that I had seen in a LONG time. Realized that time flies because I hadnt seen them in a few years and their kid was almost 4!?! Where does the time go?

Saturday night we went to the movies with Heath and Lindsey. Lindsey and I saw High School Musical 3: Senior Year. She's a big huge fan and I was fine with seeing it. The movie was good too!The guys saw Max Payne.

Excited faces! Too funny not to post! :)

Sunday we carved one of our pumpkins. I actually did all the carving, Ben just cleaned out the guts for me. While I carved, he cooked the pumpkin seeds. Well roasted them in the oven.

Here's my finished pumpkin. I'm gonna carve the other one later this week.

Finished pumpkin seeds. Nothing really exciting to look at but I just had to post a pic. They were pretty good, but I'd honestly just suck all the salt off of them and throw away if I could. :)

Fall Stuff

2008-10-23T16:47:00.006-05:00

I love this time of year. I think I've mentioned that already. I love when the leaves change colors. Hot Chocolate. Apple Cider. I love it!!

Today was my day off, so I baked muffins. Chocolate chip and lemon poppyseed. Chocolate for me and lemon for Ben. If you can believe it, I haven't gotten my camera out since vacation. So I figured today was the day. Slapped on my 50mm lense, which made my camera feel 20 times lighter and snapped away at some stuff.

Lilly in her new sweater. I know what you're thinking, She's one of those people who dresses up her dogs. No actually my dog gets cold and thats why we have one for her. She only looks annoyed because I was holding a treat to get her still and she wanted it.

This is the extent of my fall decorating, plus the mums on the front porch. I got them all half off at Hobby Lobby.

Lastly, me. Modeling my new scarf, hat and gloves I got a while back. They were too cute and affordable to pass up. I like the gloves because as you can see you can have your fingers out if you need to do something. I will probably get caught wearing these at work. Yes, it gets that cold at work and with these I can still type at the computer. But you also have the little part that goes over your fingers. Cool! Also, I half way like my self portrait. I think its the lighting...

Randoms

2008-10-21T21:01:00.003-05:00

Let's see....

In fertility news...I had a not so fun test yesterday. Its called a hysterosalpingogram. Say that 10 times fast! I wasn't at all excited about the test, but I was even more not excited about the fact that it was at the nearby imaging center. I did 2 semesters of my x-ray school rotation through there, meaning I knew all the x-ray techs. Normally, knowing people doing your test would make you feel comfortable. This time I didn't want to know the people because the test involved putting contrast or dye in your uterus and then it flows into your fallopian tubes. I'll let you figure out how it gets there. ....yeah, not a test you'd want to have everyday, much less with people you know. I will say the tech, who I did know, was awesome. She made me feel very comfortable and my nerves went away quickly. I had to wait almost an hour sitting on the xray table because the radiologist was busy with a biopsy. I had also heard stories that the pain from this test was horrible, causing some people to pass out! I don't claim to have a high pain tolerance, but I can't say anything has ever been that painful for me. Pain was minimal and over as soon as the test was over. The test only really took maybe 15 minutes. Results are good, so now we move on to more things. Did get some bloodwork results back, which resulted in trying some meds for a while, then repeat tests again.

In work news, my schedule has changed again. It results in some good mileage money which will be going directly to the savings account. That I'm excited about.

I couldn't help myself and had to buy our halloween costumes. For mine, I only had to buy two things. A tank top which was only $3.99! Gotta love Old Navy clearance. I also had $20 off my whole order! I guess I can reveal who we're gonna be. Have you seen Juno? I'm going to be Juno and Ben is gonna be Paulie Bleeker. Pregnant belly. Short yellow shorts. Yes...we're going all out. The whole pregnant thing has nothing to do with us wanting kids, just a coincidence. I'm excited about halloween! :)

I'm ready for the election. I know who I'm voting for and I'm proud of myself for that. The last presidential election, I admit, I had no clue who I wanted to vote for. I saved president for last and honestly I don't remember who I picked.

I dont remember if I said this or not (too lazy to check as well) but my grandma had her surgery. They got all the cancer and she went home two days later. So all is well there!

One Step At A Time

2008-10-19T21:21:00.002-05:00

I had heard this song on the radio, but didn't really listen to it. Then I listened to the words. Kinda how I feel some days...

Hurry up and wait
So close, but so far away
Everything that you've always dreamed of
Close enough for you to taste
But you just can't touch

You wanna show the world, but no one knows your name yet
Wonder when and where and how you're gonna make it
You know you can if you get the chance
In your face as the door keeps slamming
Now you're feeling more and more frustrated
And you're getting all kind of impatient waiting

We live and we learn to take
One step at a time
There's no need to rush
It's like learning to fly
Or falling in love
It's gonna happen and it's
Supposed to happen and we
Find the reasons why
One step at a time

You believe and you doubt
You're confused, you got it all figured out
Everything that you always wished for
Could be yours, should be yours, would be yours
If they only knew

You wanna show the world, but no one knows your name yet
Wonder when and where and how you're gonna make it
You know you can if you get the chance
In your face as the door keeps slamming
Now you're feeling more and more frustrated
And you're getting all kind of impatient waiting

When you can't wait any longer
But there's no end in sight
when you need to find the strength
It's your faith that makes you stronger
The only way you get there
Is one step at a time

by Jordin Sparks

:)

2008-10-17T04:50:00.001-05:00

I forgot to mention some exciting news. Very sad that I find this exciting...

Our cable company has decided its time to branch out and get some new channels. Two of which include The CW and Bravo!! YAY! I got addicted to Project Runway while on vacation...now I can atleast watch next season. :)

Sadly that was the highlight of my day yesterday.

How many posts can I do in one day?

2008-10-16T18:06:00.003-05:00

An update, with words, no pictures.

Nothing really going on that I think is exciting. Yesterday, work was awful!! I hate the days at work where I feel like I wasn't properly trained to do my job and that nothing will go right. I thought for sure I was gonna get yelled at by someone, the radiologist, my boss. But no, I didn't, which was fine because I give myself enough grief over my mistakes, don't need it from others. I think it helped that I admitted what went wrong/didn't work out right, instead of going on like nothing happened. I'll get Monday to fix that mistake. It didn't help that I'm sick. I couldn't sleep the night before, so I took some sinus meds that hadn't worn off by the time I got to work. I still haven't figured out why childrens meds make me so loopy. I avoid the adult stuff, its worse. If Lindsey hadn't been there with me, it wouldn't have been pretty. Between people telling me they had heard our machine wasn't very good, to wanting to go to the next closest hospital which everyone thinks is the bombdigady (yes, it has its perks I will admit) I was ready to go off on someone. I kept my cool, but it was still very irritating. Clock out time was exciting yesterday, thats for sure!!

We had our first RE appt. It went well, had some tests, got scheduled for some other tests and will be back in several weeks to go over what those tests showed. My upcoming test is one I'm not looking forward to at all. Its quick but not painless. I got to observe many of them as an x-ray student and always said I never wanted one. It's just something I will have to deal with though. I'm glad we had our first appt, it means the ball is rolling. It also means some priorities are getting switched around. Money is a big issue due to the fact that insurance pays for no fertility anything. So buying halloween costumes this year is out of the question, which is fine, its not like I'm crying over it. Although I did like my idea. :) Lots of other things we have enjoyed doing/buying, etc will change. I'm totally ok with it though, if it means we will have a child one day. I have a feeling all of this may affect some friendships, which probably weren't strong to begin with. Our priorities are and will be different than some, which some may not understand. I think out of this we will find out our true friends though. I'm rambling. I never know if I get across what I mean to get across in these things. haha...I shall quit for now.

Vacation Pics 10/9 and 10/10/08

2008-10-16T17:00:00.006-05:00

Kylie chillin during mini golf
She got a hole in one here!
Serendipity, the house they used in Nights in Rodanthe
Its right on the beach. Looked a little different in the movie. Had blue shutters, probably wasn't condemned at the time...

View underneath the house. I'm pretty sure the concrete was once level with the sand
My dad, uncle jerry, aunt jean, and my mom
My aunt and I posing in front of the house

The driveway/garage...theres a big hole in the concrete now

Turtle at Pea Island Wildlife Refuge

Boiler from The Oriental, a ship that ran ashore in the 1800's

Vacation Pics 10/8/08

2008-10-16T16:53:00.005-05:00

My last sunrise of the week. It was cloudy and raining the rest of the week.

The famous flip flop...hehe.

My little cousin Kylie on the front steps of our beach house. Yes it was pink!
Outside the aquarium
My dad and I on the beach

Kylie flying a kite with my Aunt and Uncle (her grandparents)

Vacation Pics 10/7/08

2008-10-16T16:38:00.005-05:00

Another beautiful sunrise

Inside the Currituck Lighthouse
View from the top

The Whalehead Club
horses

Vacation Pictures 10/6/08

2008-10-16T16:30:00.005-05:00

Nags Head Pier

Under the pier

sand dune erosion....the stairs moved as we walked up them to get back to our car! Very scary!!
Beach in Corolla, where we stayed for the week

Vacation Pictures 10/5/08

2008-10-16T13:34:00.008-05:00

Beautiful sunrise to start my day!

Roanoke Marshes Lighthouse

Plants at the Elizabethan Gardens

Bodie Island Lighthouse

Stopped at the beach along the way, TONS of shells

Cape Hatteras Lighthouse

View inside the lighthouse
Beach down where the lighthouse used to sit.

Ocracoke Lighthouse

I've been tagged...

2008-10-12T17:05:00.002-05:00

I was tagged to tell you 7 thing random things about me.

1. I dont like chocolate milk or ice cream.

2. I'm bad about cleaning my own house but when it comes to my workspace, I'm very anal about keeping it clean and tidy. Just ask Lindsey. :)

3. I played the flute in high school. I haven't picked it up since graduation 6 years ago.

4. I know how to sew. I dont do it, but I do know how to.

5. I don't like nuts in my brownies or cookies or anything else they shouldn't be in, but I'll eat them by themselves.

6. I would love to own a coffee shop.

7. I want another dog. Yes that'd be 3...i'm crazy.

I tag....I dont think there's anyone left. SO if you want to be tagged, then you are, so do it! :)

Last days of my vacation

2008-10-12T10:23:00.003-05:00

Thursday-Went and played mini golf with my cousin and her daughter. It was pretty fun. Kylie (the little one) actually got a hole in one. We also decided that her way of playing was so much better. Hit the ball once, go get it, sit it really close to the hole and hit it in. :) After golf, we had lunch, then went back to the house since it was her nap time. I read some more of my book and caught up on phone calls. Ok no real phones calls, but I did call Ben. Then after nap time, we went out to the beach to play in the sand. We played around and then got our feet wet. It was so cute watching her play. She would stand on her tippy toes when a wave would go in and out. That night my cousin and his fiance joined us and we all went out to eat.

Friday-my cousin and her daughter left, which made for an unusually quiet house. I didn't like that part. So me, my parents and aunt and uncle drove down to Rodanthe and saw the house that they used in Nights in Rodanthe. We had to park across the street and walk over to it because the dunes are really tall on that side of the road. Theres no parking at all. When we walked up there were two guys taking pics. They turned out to be the builders of the house. They said it looked much better 26 years ago when it was built. Being that close to the ocean would definitely damage a house. I still can't get over the fact that its condemned and for sale for 1.2 mil! We walked around the house, got pics. We were being total tourists but everyone was. Drove up to a little spot on the sound that had tons of birds. I believe it was the Pea Island National Wildlife Refuge. It also was mosquito land. We literally thought we were gonna get carried away by these suckers. They were nothing compared to here, it was awful! We stayed for a very very short time to see a few birds and the vegetation. Walked across the road, climbed the dune and checked out the ocean. Yeah same ocean, same view but nothing what you get here. We saw the boiler of a shipwreck from the 1800's. Before we left we also saw white pelicans, which aren't very common from what some die hard bird watchers told us. Had lunch, went shopping. I decided to go ahead and leave that night and head to raleigh. Mainly because I didn't feel like waking up at 4 am to head to the airport and I had had enough of some of my family. It was time to go. Got to raleigh about 10 that night.

Saturday-I decided to be brave and chance checking two bags this time. I didn't want to mess with my two carryons anyway. Plus it was free for both! The lady at the ticket counter insisted that I had to pay for my bags but turns out I didn't. :) YAY! Got through security just fine. I got my first starbucks hot chocolate of the season! :) yum! My plane ride was uneventful, which is always nice. I think we actually landed about 15 mins early. Both my bags made it successfully and I finally got to see Ben! All in all yesterday was a good day.

Today, I will be doing laundry. yuck! I'm also working on resizing my photos so I can upload them to show you guys. I did notice that I took alot. I put them all in one folder and I'm embarrassed to say how many were there. Granted, some were from other peoples cameras, but most are mine. I'm a photo person, what can I say?

Tuesday/Wednesday

2008-10-08T20:41:00.002-05:00

First, I want to say thanks for the comments/support/prayers about my last post...

Tuesday we went to the Currituck Lighthouse. I ended up climbing up it. I've done that before but its still interesting. The wind gusts yesterday were about 25mph, so it was very very windy at the top. We walked around by the lighthouse, visited the Whalehead club and looked around at the sound. Then that afternoon we went on our horse tour. We used a different company that before. They were ok. I felt really bad for my uncle. He's had back surgery and all 7 of us were crammed in a suburban. The guy who is probably not much older than me was driving rather crazily down the beach. At one point the vehicle slid sideways in the sand. NOT COOL! We did see horses, lots of babies this time. The other fun thing was driving through the water. Since the last storm, it was still a little flooded so finding the shallow puddles was just trial and error. None of us wanted to get stuck. Last night, my mom and I cooked tacos for everyone. They were a big hit.

I haven't had any seafood yet and its bothering me...

Today we went to the Aquarium. My little cousin loved it! She really liked the sharks and getting to touch the sting rays. I think she stood by them for atleast 20 minutes. This afternoon, my mom and I took a nature trail out to the sound. We saw a really big frog and a blue heron (I think). Yeah we also discovered a new species of creature...it was a flip flop. You would've had to been there, but it was quite funny. We kept seeing something on a log but couldn't make it out. It could've been a turtle or snake. So I zoomed in as far as I could, took a picture and then when I got back to the house I zoomed in on it. Then I proceeded to laugh, it was a flip flop. LOL! I'll have to post a picture of it for you guys, I know you're so interested. ;)

We also went to the beach. Played around in the sand, I found half of a pretty big conch shell and some lightning rock. My uncle and cousin flew kites and then she played in the sand with my dad. Tonight I think the week has caught up with us all because everyone was in bed by 9 atleast.

Not sure of the plan tomorrow. I have my ideas of what I want to do, they have theirs...we'll see what happens.

Redesign

2008-10-07T18:10:00.002-05:00

As you noticed I did a little redesign with the blog. I can't take credit for anything but the background and the color choices. The banner was made for me. Credit posted on the side.

I guess its time for me to come clean on our "problem." All I'm really going to say is that we have a known problem in the whole trying to get pregnant process. We go to the fertility specialist (reproductive endocrinologist or RE) soon and will know more then. For now, the only thing we have been told is that IVF or invitro is our only hope for having kids. Which is a bummer because its freakin expensive and not always guarunteed to work the first time. So for now, we have a long road ahead of us. I guess this is my "coming out" to the blog world. We've chosen to be fairly private with the information, just because people are nosey and can and will ask a ton of questions. So far we've only told our parents and a few very very close friends. I'm just not ready to let the whole world (and by whole world I mean the rest of the family and people we know) know. Its nothing we're ashamed of but we also arent shouting it from the rooftops. Right now, since we dont know much, I don't feel comfortable necessarily answering peoples questions either. I would like the support system to be a true support system, not nosey people. Yes I know by posting this anyone can read it and can tell anyone, but I'm ok with it I guess. The few people I know in real life that read it, I trust. I dont know what I'm trying to say here, I hope this makes sense. I'm not saying "Don't go tell people...shhh" I would be stupid to think that people don't talk. I guess I'm warning all the readers (ha...I think I can count on one hand who you are) that this will be stuff I will blog about, mainly as a venting outlet but I will try not to make it strictly infertility blog. Those were not my intentions when I started this blog. So you've been warned...and we are about to board this emotional rollercoaster. :)

Prayers are really what we need...for patience and hope and we'll see what happens. Only God knows...

Still at the beach...

2008-10-07T07:05:00.002-05:00

Lets see its Day 4 of my vacation. Things are going well. Sunday I spent the day alone exploring little places I've never been and a few I had. I started off the morning at Roanoke Island. Walked around downtown Manteo, NC. On a whim I decided to go to the Elizabethan Gardens. It was a walk through, well garden with flowers and trees, etc. It had statues from back in the day and lots of things. I was hoping for more flowers but given the time of year there weren't too many. After there, I headed down south to the Bodie Island Lighthouse. You can't go in the lighthouse but you can walk all around it and back off behind it to see birds and other wildlife. I thought some were gonna come out of the bushes at one point to get me.

After the lighthouse, I kept driving and driving. Stopped along the way to check out the beach. Found alot of great shells. Drove past the house that was used to film The Nights in Rodanthe. It's for sale for only $1.2 million right now, but its also condemned after the recent storms. That house is truly oceanfront property. I tried to snap some pictures of it while driving and they didn't turn out so great. I'm gonna try and make a trip down there again before I leave. I stopped at Cape Hatteras Lighthouse. I chose not to make the climb this time, since I didn't really have the right shoes and it was hot. Its a long climb to the top. So I took pictures and actually went in just up to where you start the climb. I went to the site where it used to sit on the beach. They had to move the lighthouse because of beach erosion. They actually moved it pretty far, which is amazing. Here is a link to information about the lighthouse and and some info on how they moved it.

I had planned on going to Ocracoke in the beginning of the day, but then decided not to because of time. Well before I could get turned around, I was stuck in the line to the ferry to get over there. Yes you have to go by ferry, its about a 40 min ride. Once on ocracoke I checked out the lighthouse there and was going to stop along the beach but decided I'd rather get back on the ferry to get to my home for the week.

Yesterday, I spent the day with my mom. We just drove all around going in shops and checking out places. We went down to the beach in Nags Head. The public access section we chose was a little scary. The steps down to the beach were moving as we walked on them. Then we realized some of the supports were not in the sand and you could see the sand moving as we walked. SCARY! It was only that way due to the storm they had a few weeks ago. We came back to the house and then went down to the beach here and walked around.

Today, I think we're gonna go see the horses on the beach since my cousin and parents haven't done that before. After that I'm not really sure. I like not having a plan, kinda. The anal part of me wants to know what we're doing or if we are. If we're not, I'll go do my own thing. Oh yeah the sunrise this morning was beautiful!!! I can see the ocean from my room! :)

Pictures soon!

At the beach...

2008-10-04T18:57:00.003-05:00

Yes, I'm at the beach again. :) I got here around 4 this afternoon. I flew, which of course never goes as planned. Nothing really bad happened, we just had to deboard the plane. We only did that because a tray table was broken and wouldn't latch. So they even took all our luggage off in anticipation of getting another plane. All for a tray table. Actually the latch. That was just funny. The pilot was definitely ready to go. He sped to the runway and before we even fully turned on to it he had the plane moving. Pretty decent flight. Got my rental car, found out why it was so cheap. No cruise control, power windows, locks or mirrors. Very. basic. car. Oh well. Again, I just laugh.

I did some walking on the beach tonight. It was very peaceful and relaxing. I'll leave you with some pictures.

Yep, thats me and my really tired face. Ugh, I look bad, but I gave you the pic anyway. I get to sleep in tomorrow! I can't wait!!

Zombie

2008-10-02T20:26:00.002-05:00

This work week has really messed with my head. My schedule has gotten all changed around. I go to certain sites different days but my head thinks it the normal day I did go there. So technically in my head yesterday was friday not wednesday. I've also been getting up really early this week. Today was the latest I slept, 6 am. Tomorrow I have to get up at 4 am again. Tuesday on the way to work, I felt that I drove in my sleep. I kinda spaced out on some of it and dont really remember driving through some parts to get where I was going. That is not a good thing at all!!

Next week I'll be off, which I'm excited about. I'll get to see some family that I haven't seen in about 2 yrs. I just hope its a good week.

Today my grandma was supposed to have surgery. Last week they found a malignant tumor in her breast which wasn't there on her last mammogram. She has them every six months because she's already had breast cancer once. So they were going to do the surgery today, but decided not too. Apparently there were some issues with the anesthesia. One of the drugs was making her heart race or something, so they've put the surgery off until she can see a cardiologist. She was supposed to go on the vacation next week but obviously isn't due to all of the medical issues. The good news is that the doctor isn't too concerned about waiting a few weeks on the surgery. She's been very upbeat about everything. I think the only different thing about it this time, is that my grandpa isn't here, but she's taking it all really well.

I must get to bed now...I was actually sleepy at 5 pm. how sad...

Lindsey's Birthday

2008-09-30T21:27:00.003-05:00

While we were on vacation we celebrated Lindsey's birthday! I knew we needed to surprise her since she was the mastermind behind surprising her husband last year for his birthday (which we also celebrated on vacation that year). So about a month before, I started thinking of ideas. She likes pink, hot pink. Zac Effron (I'll have to admit he's not bad to look at). houndstooth, high school musical. So I found a lady who does edible cake images. My idea for the cake was to have a picture of Zac and him saying "Happy Birthday Lindsey." Ben found a pictures for me and we also found a font that it like the high school musical letters. I incooperated all her other loves into her presents and such. I called a week before we left and put in the cake order. I was pretty sneaky. I managed to double check her favorite cake and icing combo by talking about my birthday cupcakes. Thanks to ben hurting his toe, we were able to sneak out of the house twice! Overall, I think she had a good birthday, minus the trip to urgent care.

Here are some pics from the surprise!

The cake

Lindsey coming in to see what was so important upstairs

Seeing her cake!

"He's saying Happy Birthday to ME!!!"

Make a wish!

I hope you had a GREAT birthday Lindsey!!

Great Weekend!!

2008-09-28T18:43:00.003-05:00

I can honestly say its been a very good weekend. I love the fallish temperatures. Up until this afternoon, we have not turned the television on since Thursday night. Thats pretty good for us and it means we've been outside because its sooooo nice!

Friday night after work we went over to a friends house and relaxed by their outdoor fireplace. We made smores, talked, and bugged her son and his girlfriend. He has a new girlfriend and I think its his frist (he's 16), so we were totally giving them a hard time, it was fun! It was nice to just sit around and do nothing for once. The fire was nice and warm, made me want some hot chocolate or apple cider.

Saturday I found some cute pumpkins for my fall decor. They were all half off at Hobby Lobby. I got two to sit on the mantle and 3 little ones that are sitting on the table right now. Since we've moved into this house I'm obsessed with decorating. I wish I had more decorators whatever because our house is bare walled and un-accessorized. Guess that just means theres less to dust!! I really want to find a fall wreath for the door but I haven't seen the right one yet. If I had more time off, I'd go all out with my decorating. I can't wait til Christmas!! I've already been looking for somethings to put around the house! Back to fall, we also got some mums to put on our porch. I just need to put those in pots. We totally copied off our friends and got one of those outdoor firplaces. They're fairly cheap and put out good heat, so why not. Last night we invited Lindsey and Heath over and cooked hot dogs and roasted marshmellows for smores. It was fun except for the mosquitos. I will be so happy when they go away.

Today I went with Lindsey and Courtney to go eat and do some shopping. We celebrated Courtney's birthday at Coltons and even got her free ice cream! My hair is nice and tangled from riding with the top down but it was well worth it!

I think the fun of my weekend has caught up with me because I'm incredibly tired now. Tomorrow starts my new work schedule, I hope my brain can remember where to drive to in the morning. I'll have to post pictures later of all my pumpkins and our outdoor stuff. Hope everyone had an equally great weekend!

Fair Fun

2008-09-25T21:14:00.004-05:00

Forget the whole going to be before 9 thing. I'm sleepy, but lay down, no sleep.

Last saturday, a group of us all met up at the fair for some good food, rides and laughter. I enjoyed way too much of the food. Between all of us we ate corn dogs, fried twinkies (the piece i got was actually good), cotton candy, funnel cakes, pizza and popcorn. Of course you can't go to the fair and not eat any of those things, it would be just wrong!

We rode several rides. I'm not much of a ride person, but I did do a few. My favorite is always the sizzler or scrambler. Thats the one I would ride with my dad when I was little. It's a little rougher to ride when you get older, let me tell ya. The world was spinning for a bit after I got off.

The funniest and grossest part of the whole occasion was the fact that it seemed we were attracting the pukers. Yes, the pukers. While Lindsey, Courtney and Ben were in line for the predator they had to hose it off and then run it once empty to dry it off. The guys were atleast nice enough to tell everyone to step back a little. Eww!! Then we moved on to the Gravitron. While we all were in line there, someone did it again. Then again before the ride and on the ride. ICK! By the way, that was all the same person. I dont get the whole get sick and then think its smart to continue to ride rides.

The fair was fun. The petting zoo was a big hit too. Lindsey and I got some carrots and went around and fed all the animals. Its fun feeling like a kid again.

After the fair, we tried to go to IHOP. They were packed. So the only other place open 24 hrs is McDonalds. We waited in line atleast 20 mins and that was just so they could take your order. After that we waited atleast another 20 to get the food. There was a guy in front of me that ordered 40 chicken nuggets, 9 double cheeseburgers, 13 orders of fries and 13 drinks!! This particular Mcdonald's has security. I thought that was crazy for a McDonalds, but if they didn't people would probably get really nasty about having to wait that long for food.

Here are some pics from the night (yes they're totally out of order):

Me and Court on the sizzler

Greg and Lindsey-their faces are priceless!

The whole gang=Jamie, Lindsey, Me, Court, Acea, Greg, Ben

Ben and I and our love child. Its an inside joke.

Goofing off w/the camera. "I can't see my head."

Lindsey and Court on the ferris wheel

Me and Ben on the ferris wheel

fried twinkie

It was all good here, then someone puked.

Long Day

2008-09-25T20:47:00.002-05:00

I hate the days where I go to work and its dark, watch the sun come up, drive home from work, watch the sun go down, its dark before I get anywhere close to home. Today sucked even more because the machine wasn't working so I sat and did nothing from about 7:30 til 1pm. I got up at 4am for that. Somedays I dont like my job, but I guess we all have those days.

I finally found out the results of my nerve conduction test today. It only took a month and 10 phone calls to get them. The good and bad part is that it was normal. SO I guess that means I don't have carpal tunnel? I dont really know. The nurse asked me if I was still having the symptoms. Yes, they're not as bad right now, but it comes and goes. So she said she'd tell the doctor and go from there. I assume I wait for a phone call, which means it'll be a while. I'll probably have to wait til its gets unbearable again and have to make an appointment to go in. Maybe its just stress, that could cause it right?

Sadly, I will be in bed soon, before 9 pm even. I have another long day of work tomorrow. I can't wait. It's also hard to type when the dog insists on cuddling and laying her head on the laptop. :)

Pottery

2008-09-24T20:47:00.003-05:00

While on vacation we visted a place called Art, Glass, and Fire in Manteo, NC. We ended up going two days to paint because it was so much fun! At the shop you could paint a piece of pottery, do glass fusion (bowl, suncatcher, jewelry, etc), mosaics, and silver jewelry. The first day we went Heath painted a sign, Ben made a silver charm for a necklace (picture and post later), Lindsey painted cute dog bowls for Charley and Oscar, and I painted a bowl and did a charm for a bracelet.

The second visit I copied off Lindsey and painted dog bowls for Sam and Lilly. She painted a platter/plate that is super cute!

Now to pictures:

Lindsey's super cute doggie bowls!

My doggie bowls. Sam's isn't that neon green in person.

My bowl thing

And last but not least, Lindsey's really really cute plate!!

More posts to come but I have to get up at 4:30 tomorrow, so its bed early tonight!

Pictures!!!

2008-09-22T16:55:00.006-05:00

Ok finally I've got all the vacation pictures ready for your viewing pleasure! Enjoy!

First set of pictures if from 9/7/08. We got up and watched the sunrise over the ocean. It was pretty even though a tad bit cloudy. We found a few interesting things washed up on the beach. You'll see the horseshoe crab and the fishermans knife in some of the pics.

Create a Free Slideshow

These pictures are from our horse tour we took. You'll see the big sea turtle we saw washed up. It was really sad. No telling how old it was. The bird you see standing with its wings out was drying itself off. The guide told us that if it didn't, then it would drown. Also, I included the Carova post office, yes its only PO boxes.The buildings are old livesaving stations and the lookout tower.

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These were taken at Jockey's Ridge State Park. It's basically at really large sand dune, well many of them. From the top of the dunes you can see the ocean and the sound. Many people come out to fly kites, hang glide, roll down the dunes and some people even bring old boogie boards to "surf" on the sand. It was a neat place to go and check everything out. The only thing that irritates me about these pictures are the two spots that were on my sensor. I guess I'll have to photshop those out.

Create a Free Slideshow

Posts to come:
Lindsey's Birthday Surprise and Fair Fun

Pictures: Day 1

2008-09-20T10:52:00.005-05:00

I found a way to do it, so heres day 1 (9/6/08) We arrived to our hotel after Hanna passed through. Ben, Lindsey, Heath and I ate and then headed to the beach.

Create a Free Slideshow

Sorry they are so small, I have to pay some amount to have them bigger, I'm not doing it. I'll post more later, but now I must get ready to go have lunch with the in-laws and then the fair this afternoon!

Ice cream keeps me up late

2008-09-19T23:44:00.003-05:00

I have the urge to type something but its really late and I technically should be in bed. Ok I am in bed, with my laptop and the dogs and Ben. I should've skipped the ice cream. Not a good idea if its after 9pm. It was really yummy peanut butter brusters ice cream. I love that place!

I would just like to make it very clear that I was in NO WAY saying in my venting blog that I didn't appreciate anyone who had listened to me vent or whatever. I was having a bad day and what I was saying was somewhat directed towards a person (who doesn't read this) and I just needed to vent. So I wasn't saying that I don't appreciate those who have listened. Trust me I do, more than you know. I'm sure I will continue to vent on those same people, so just get ready. For those that left comment, thanks for the support, offers to listen. You might be surprised one day to have a email from me in your inbox, you never know. :)

I'm still trying to figure out how I'm going to post all my pics from vacation. I tried to narrow it down to my favorites, but really I like alot of them. Me being the photography nut, I took alot. I figure Lindsey and Heath got annoyed with all my picture taking.Sometimes I just cant help myself. I need to find a slideshow thing to use to put them on there, but it'll still take forever and a day to upload them to there, so I'm not sure what i'll do. In the meantime I'll leave you with a few pictures. Enjoy!

First night at the beach, very pretty sky.

Lindsey and Heath enjoying the ocean air.

Sunrise our first morning at the beach

One of the many horses we saw on the tour

Ben and Heath getting ready to fly the kite at Jockey's Ridge State Park

a non-depressing/venting one

2008-09-17T21:11:00.003-05:00

I was productive today. I did laundry (when will it ever end?!) Also got the oil changed in my car. Got registered to vote in our county. If you aren't registered to vote, GO DO IT!! No excuses!! The deadline here is Oct 6th, I figure its pretty much the same all around. We also got our hammock rocker chair thing in today. Put that all together. We'll have to enjoy it tomorrow because it was dark and the mosquitos were horrible. Mosquitos in Sept when its kinda chilly. Soon they will be here all year around. I hate mosquitoes.

The district fair is all this week. I'm planning on going saturday and eating my fair share of sugar. Cotton candy, funnel cakes, you name it. It should be fun. I only gained 4 lbs while on vacation. awesome!

There are some exciting upcoming events. I've got my second week of vacation, which I'm hoping is as exciting as my first. Then the Carrie Underwood concert. And the one I've had tickets for for little over a year.....Celine Dion!!! Yes I'm just a little bit excited. :) Of course, then we have Thanksgiving and Christmas. And halloween. I already have our idea for costumes. Sorry for the random post.

vent

2008-09-17T16:37:00.003-05:00

You know how you think of that one person to go to when you really need to talk? The people, be it a friend, mother, father, etc that always has the right thing to say to cheer you up or help you get over something?

I discovered that right now, none of those people have said the right things. Or they haven't said what I want to hear. I know its because they probably don't know what to say, but I'd almost wish some didn't say anything at all. I feel stupid and selfish for saying what I've said or for even going to them to let out my feelings. I feel guilty for feeling the way I do. And then I feel guilty for feeling guilty. I guess really all I've got is my husband to lean on and to talk to, since we're the only ones who can comfort each other. I also have all the other people going through this to lean on for support and encouragement, but they're just random people. Not someone I can call up or hang out with, they're just words on a screen from a message board.

I've never felt more alone. I really really want to talk about it but feel like there is no one that wants to hear it. I've always been the listener, now I need one. And then sometimes I dont want to talk about it, for all the reasons listed above. Emotional rollercoasters suck and I think I'm on for the long ride.

Guess I should just let it go or bottle it up, I'm good at doing that. Although, in the end, nothing good comes out of it. Maybe they have a support group at church, they have one for everything else. I eventually will blog in detail about what this is, because in the end, this will be my outlet probably. I'm just not ready to tell the whole world. It's nothing I should be ashamed of, I just have to decide how much to want to tell the world.

yes that was random, but I feel better, sorta. BTW, In no way am I saying that anyone I have vented to hasn't listened...I just have bad days, or afternoons. Today was one.

Beach or Bust

2008-09-15T11:06:00.005-05:00

It was great! Great to get away and forget about everything....well kind of. I thought I'd give you a day by day run down, but that would be quit long so I'll give you a brief over view of the fun, where we ate, etc.

The first semi-exciting and scary part of our trip was flying. The flying part didn't really bother me. The flying in a tropical storm was the scary part. We left Charlotte with a report from the captain. "Short 20 min flight, slight rain, gusting winds." He didn't say how gusty, but we would soon find out. Once we get up, flying above the clouds is all pretty. Descending, through the clouds, yucky! It was grey outside and raining and very VERY gusty. The plane was rocking and rolling. Ok not that bad but it was very scary sitting there waiting to land. You could definitely tell it was gusting and that the pilot was having to correct for each gust. We land, get our rental car, and make our way to the beach. It was rainy and windy most of the way there. By the time we got to the Outer Banks, Hanna had passed through. Some minor flooding when we were coming in but nothing too bad. We could see the ocean from our hotel. :)

Throughout the week, I think I ate my weight in crab legs. They were yummy!! I tried squid. It was ok, really had no flavor, I'm just not a fan of the texture.

We kept calling this trip an adventure. That it was for sure. We drove around places we hadn't been the prior years we had been there. We ate places we'd never eaten before and we tried sports made for 12 year olds. That was a bad idea. Skimboarding. Its like a mini surf board and you only use it where the waves come in. We saw some kids using one, looked cool. Again, its only made for 12 year olds. We rented a board and proudly took it to the beach on Monday. Heath was the only one who could almost successfully "surf" on it. I stood on it and didn't move. Ben tried, same thing. Towards the end of our beach fun, Ben was picking it up out of the waves and the end came down and hit his big toe. Immediately, his toenail was turning purplish-black. Really it was blood behind his nail. That night, it continued to get worse, but you know men. They don't want to go to doctors. Maybe its not a man thing, but its a my husband thing. He didn't sleep that night. That morning it wasn't any better, so we went to the urgent care that afternoon. They basically poked a hole in his nail to get the blood out. That was gross and smelly and I couldn't watch. The smell brought back memories of my surgery rotation from school. ick! They also did an xray to make sure it wasn't broken, and it wasn't. All the people were super nice and I think they liked us. Random nurses and the xray tech came in to just chat with us while waiting. After that the skimboard stayed in the garage, never to be touched again.

Another thing we did was paint pottery at Art, Glass and Fire in Manteo. We ended up going twice. I painted a large bowl the first time. Second time around I did dog bowls. I can't wait to see them!! Ben made me some jewelry. I'll post pics of these ASAP.

We went on a wild horse tour in the 4x4 area in Carova. Basically the highway ends at the beach and you can continue driving, only if you have a 4 wheel drive vehicle. Well you could drive without one but you wouldn't get far. In this are there are houses, rentable ones and there are people who live up there year around. There is a lot of wildlife up there, including the wild horses. They roam along the beach and up in peoples yards. Its just a normal thing. Of course you cannot feed them or touch them. This year we used Back Country Outfitters and Guides. We had a tour guide and rode in a surburban down the beach. You can also rent segways for the tour. The guide was very informative. The spanish mustangs used to roam all along the northern part of the Outer Banks but as more people came in and built, they were getting hit and things. So they moved the horses up the beach. Some of the far north parts of the beach are protected. Theres a fence to keep them from going south or from going north into virginia. He did tell us a story about some of them going in the food lion one day. They just walked right in the front door of the grocery store. Oh yeah and we took lots of pictures. I'll put those all in a different post.

We bought ourselves a hammock from Nags Head Hammocks. We actually got a double rocker because getting in and out of a hammock is scary and I don't trust that the swing would stay put after we sat in it on the front porch. So we got this one. That was our splurge purchase for the week. I've wanted to get one the last times we've been there but we've never done it. Yes they're expensive, but they're made in the USA and very good quality. And we got 1/2 off shipping and no sales tax because we shipped out of state. AND an additional $20 off because her computer crashed and Ben helped her. :)

Here's a list of where we ate:

Barefoot Bernies, The Black Pelican (it was right by the ocean and housed in a former Livesaving Station), Dirty Dicks Crabhouse, Poor Richards, Oceanfront Grille (literally oceanfront, view awesome, food not so much), Sooey's BBQ, Awful Arthur's, Sundogs Bar & Grill, North Banks Restaurant and Raw Bar. I'm sure there were more places, and really you probably dont care that much. We also visted Bacchus Wine and Cheese. We bought some good wine from Duplin Winery. Good stuff!!

Overall, I believe we all had a great time!! We of course never want to leave once we get there, but we have to come back to reality sometime. I dont know what it is about that little skinny piece of land. Once you cross the intercoastal waterway bridge, its like you're in a different world. You get bit by the obx bug and you there's no cure for it. So you keep coming back. I would totally live there, if it wasn't so expensive, if there was a job and if we hadn't just bought a house. Here's a link about the Outer Banks, if you're interested. Of course I can get you more info if you want it.

Oh and we stayed here for the week. Pictures of everything coming soon!

VACATION!!!

2008-09-10T08:29:00.000-05:00

Just thought I'd do a quick update. We're on vacation. Its wonderful, awesome, relaxing and has definitely been an adventure. I'll have a full, probably long update when we get back. Oh yeah and pictures too. My google reader is overflowing as well. Hope everyone has a great week!!!

Making a list, checking it twice...

2008-09-03T15:39:00.002-05:00

I'm such a liar, I made a list about 3 wks ago. Haven't checked it since I made it. I need to but I'm lazy. I'm excited about vacation, but I have no motivation to get packing. I have all my clothes ready. Its just the little stuff, like toiletries, hair dryer, makeup, etc. I can't really pack that stuff til its time to leave. I think thats why I'm stuck. Just waiting, very impatiently. In my down time, I'm tracking Hanna. They keep predicting it'll come through where we're gonna be, but really they have no clue. Its kind of annoying. The storm hasn't really moved much in the last few days. I won't mind a little rain at the beach, but I would like some sun. I guess thats why you don't plan a vacation to the beach during hurricane season.

Headaches suck. They seem to be a constant annoyance in my life. They're daily it seems. I think its sinuses or my eyes. I haven't had my eyes checked since my first year of x-ray school. That was....oh...4 years ago. Yeah, I know. Thats bad, given that I only really see well out of one eye. I have a bad habit of not wearing my glasses unless I'm at work or driving. Once I get home, they come off. I was told my eyes don't work together, so that puts strain on my good eye. If you were to try on my glasses, you'd probably think "what the heck?" Only one lense is prescription, the other is just a clear lense. I could techinically get away with wearing one contact if I was in to sticking things in my eyes. But I'm not. I need to make that appointment. Ugh, I'm tired of going to doctors.

Yes, I'm down in the dumps today. I have been since late last week. I'm giving myself a week of pity party, then I'm getting happy. One, because of vacation. Two, because I think I shouldn't wallow in self pity for longer than that. People start to get annoyed, if they even notice. I don't think they do. Which is fine, I don't feel like advertising it at the moment anyway.

I'll end on a good note. Went to target for deodorant and ending up buying a grey knee length pencil skirt, cute black shirt, new purse, and earrings. I like trips where I find stuff I wasn't looking for, especially when it all fits!!

Pictures

2008-08-31T20:47:00.002-05:00

My attempt at an action shot. Really I wasn't trying for it, so it makes it nice, atleast I think so.

A Macro attempt

And the little froggy we had sitting outside.

nothingness...

2008-08-31T20:32:00.002-05:00

Parts of last week sucked, some were better. I did get my hair cut. She took off 1.5 inches and now I feel like its short. Of course its not, but I didn't realize how long it had really gotten over the last few months. I got all my clothes shopping done. Plenty of (probably too many) clothes for vacation. I even bought myself a little black dress.

The first half of the week was better than the last. Its amazing how one thing can ruin everything else. I'm not ready to let it all out to the blog world yet, so in the mean time, could you please pray for us... I'll let you know in time, maybe.

Vacation couldn't come soon enough. I hope Hanna doesn't ruin it for us. The undetermined path is making me antsy. Getting away from work will be nice though, hurricane or not.

yay!

2008-08-27T08:19:00.003-05:00

Got my new phone yesterday. So far, so good! I've just got to send back the old one and hopefully I won't have to deal with that again.

I also got some clothes I'd ordered from Old Navy. YAY for new clothes! Last night we went by Old Navy because I thought just for kicks I'd go try on a smaller size of jeans. The ones I have now feel really baggy and tend to start falling off. I think I got hopeful a little to quick because the smaller size ones didn't quite work. They did zip and button but I dont think I'd wear them out in public unless I had a long and baggy t-shirt on. So I put them back, which is fine. I'm not depressed over it or anything. I was really happy for a moment though. I took a pair of the smaller size and a pair of my normal size in the dressing room. (I grabbed my normal size because there was only one pair and I didn't want to lose that pair if I needed them) So I try on the jeans, I'm thinking these are the smaller ones. They FIT! YAY! I'm doing a little happy dance. So I get ready to leave, look at the other pair so I can put them back and the other pair is the smaller size. So I was all happy that I fit in the size I normally wear instead of the smaller ones. I think that was confusing, but I'm not telling my size, sorry. :P

The whole clothes shopping thing is due to our vacation. Good excuse for some new stuff. Today I got together mostly what I'm gonna wear, so I'll know if I need to get anything else or what to wash before we go. And so I won't wear it between now and then, since I only really have one day to get it all together before we leave. I SO wish our plane wasn't leaving at 6 am! I have to work the day before. Historically the day before my vacations have sucked at work, so I'm preparing for the worst. 9 more days!! YAY! I just have to make sure my bag is under 50 lbs (shouldn't be a problem) and that my carry-ons will work as well. Don't want any snags in security at 5 am. I'm hoping none of these weather systems will affect our trip. If they do, I think we'll still have a good time sitting on the porch, looking at the ocean. As long as we get there, I'll be happy. If it wasn't so expensive, I would move there in a heartbeat.

Tomorrow, I go to the doctor and I'm getting my haircut. Getting my eyebrows taken care of too, before they take over my face.. lol

I'm totally rambling, sorry!

I'm not good with titles...

2008-08-25T15:45:00.002-05:00

Saturday morning I headed out to the AT&T store with some hope that they would help. Yeah that was dumb. I walked in, signed my name and waited. The girl I guess they hire as a "bouncer" for the place asks me if I'm signed in. Yes. Then asks what I'm returning. I explain my situation.
She says "You'll have to call the number. We can't do anything."
"Really?! Nothing?!"
"No, I'm sorry. You have to call them."

So I escort my unhappy butt to the sign in sheet, mark out my name and leave. I think the most irritating thing about this is that you have a store to go to, but they can't or don't or won't help you with phone problems. The solution is to call a number, where you then get transferred to someone who doesn't care either. So basically unless you want to buy a new phone or change your plan, don't go to the store. ugh!

So I call the number. I get a very very nice lady, can't remember her name. They don't want you to call from your crap phone because they need you to tell them the IMEI number, if the battery prongs are the proper color and what color the "pregnancy test" is. I couldn't do that, she at first wasn't happy about that, but I explained that I had the number she needed and all the other info required. Explained my situation, she was actually sympathetic. Did I mention helpful!? The most helpful one out of the whole thing. Since it was "two strikes" with a phone I was able to switch to a different make and model. She offered me a motorola razr, to which I politely said no. I've had that phone, its crap. They practically give them away in cereal boxes these days. I told her I'd like to stick with blackberry anything because I really do like the phone when it works. So I'm getting a curve. It won't be a new curve, its refurbished. Crossing my fingers that this refurb functions properly. Third times the charm right? All in all my last experience on the phone was SO much better! I think I'm avoiding the AT&T store unless I need a phone, but technically I can do my upgrade online anyway. Yeah, I'm stubborn, I know. So my phone should be here tomorrow, in the mean time I'm texting people without the "I/U" button and possibly some numbers.

In other boring news, I had my nerve test on my wrist today. It actually wasn't that bad or my pain tolerance is alot better than I thought. There were no needles involved. The lady said that was because my symptoms didn't warrant it. YAY for my symptoms! I think. It was somewhat painful, I won't lie. It was only for a second though and then it went away. The test all in all might have last 15 mins and I was done. Hopefully I'll have results by the end of the week. My wrist has actually been better recently, except friday. That was awful, but lifting heavy boxes and patients did not help.

I'm staying positive and have high hopes this week will be good... I need a tan before the beach. suggestions anyone??

I won!

2008-08-23T08:23:00.003-05:00

Beyond Megapixels is one of the photography blogs I ran across back when I first started writing and trying to find something to read. I love photography and got my DSLR back at Christmas but honestly don't know much about it. I want to know more but I dont really wanna read the book that comes with it, plus you learn more with trial and error anyway. I ran across this blog and it has had some very helpful articles. Last week they were have a giveaway for a photography book. I figured, why not enter, couldn't hurt. So much to my surprise when I got home Thursday night, I had won! So my copy of The Digital Photography Companion. Now if I can ever find time to read. Maybe I'll take it to work and read it in my down time.

In other news, I'm going to be making a trip to the AT&T store this morning. My replacement phone for my first replacement phone doesn't work either!! The most important key, other than the trackball, does not work. No I'm not kidding. It does not work. I put in my battery, SIM card, SD card and powered on the phone. Put my contacts on, try to send a text message and the button doesn't work. Not a happy person about this!! I seriously doubt going up there is going to get me anywhere. I'll probably just hear, well you need to call this number again. I dont want to call that number, I dont want to talk to several different people, all telling them my same story over and over. Giving them my IMEI number off my phone, which I have memorized by now, telling them that the square that shows water damage is white, yes I know where it is, what size and shape is. No need to read your little script, I know. Then only to be passed on to someone else to ask me all the same stuff again. I. dont. want. to. call.

Life without a cell phone

2008-08-19T21:25:00.002-05:00

I've had a phone since I was 17 or so. Not until today, have I realized how much I used that thing. Bens says I'm addicted. I have to admit, I think I might be. My blackberry pearl (oh how I love it!!) had been having issues and finally died on 8/8/08. I had only had it since Nov. After taking it up to AT&T and calling their number, getting people who read the script, had the "I dont wanna be hear doing this job" voice, I got a "new" phone on tues 8/12. Worked great, all my contacts got loaded, etc. Working great. Until today. It white screened, I think this is equivalent to the "blue screen of death" on your computer. Never came back.

We dont have a home phone, just cell phones. Of course I was at work but I only have a few peoples numbers memorized, so basically I was screwed. I get home, pacing the floor because I can't call anyone and all the online help stuff isn't working. Ben gets home, I call the AT&T people. To make it short I was on the phone for over 1.5 hrs. Spoke with 5 AT&T people: Adam, Brian, Rachel, Stephanie and someone and 2 Blackberry people-Randy and someone. Yes I remembered their names...what else did I have to do for all that time?? None of them could help me. One tried to make small talk, asking what I did, where I lived, big town, little town, it went on and on. They tell me that my phone should be here tomorrow. I'm not holding my breath for anything.

The only part that really irritated me was when one guy introduced himself and then proceeded to ask me "Do you know what happened to your phone?" 1-if I did, I wouldn't call you and 2-no. He says in a rude tone "Well basically your phone is a computer and it crashed." No kidding. ugh!

The rest of this week is going to be stressful. Next week is going to be even worse. I'm not looking forward to any of it.

Randomness

2008-08-17T17:27:00.002-05:00

Not much going on around here. The usual work, home, sleep, repeat.

I have been watching the olympics. Saw Michael Phelps win most of his gold medals. The 7th one was a nail biter and the 8th as well. I really wish they'd start airing earlier in the night because its hard to keep my eyes open when its still airing at 11pm. I'm more of a Winter Olympics person. I LOVE figure skating. I remember watching Kristi Yamaguchi, Nancy Kerrigan, Oksasna, and even remember Tanya Harding and the drama surrounding her. Now I'm a Michelle Kwan fan, still hopeful that someday she'll get the gold. I think its probably more than likely out of reach, but a girl can have hope, right? In recent years, I've come to enjoy curling. Yes, I know most people think its stupid. I think I like it because I might actually could do it. Everything else I couldn't. I have enjoyed these olympics so far. I wish the US Gymnastics girls could've gotten gold, but theres always next time I guess.

Randomness:

-I learned my husband doesn't know how to cook pancakes. His way would've made them fried...or something.

-Vacation is oh so soon!! I think I actually have everything purchased for the trip. One more shopping trip ought to take care of everything.

-To date I've lost 14 lbs.

-I had to return 2 shirts to Lane Bryant. They were the smallest size they make and too big!! :) The lady asked if I wanted a different size. I refrained from saying you don't make them any smaller. I really think it was the way the shirts were made, but its still exciting. If my waist would only shrink!

-Next week at work is going to be very stressful, or I'm making it out to be worse than it may end up being. We're getting a new MRI machine in the middle of the week. I wish they'd wait 1 more day.

-I've put some decorative stuff up on the walls now. I just need some curtains. We also need a new floor lamp and we're hoping a friend will be building us a bookcase thing to hold all our Wii stuff and DVDs etc.

-Last week we only paid $8.40 for $124 worth of groceries. (Yes I had to brag!!) You ask how? Well we went to kroger. Grand total-$124.xx, then Kroger card discount-$15.xx, down to $108.40. We had a visa $100 card which was a rebate from cingular. So we used it, which brough it down to $8.40!! Yeah it'll never happen again, but it was exciting at the time. And since we spent over $100, we got 10 cents off our gas next time we filled up. So we paid $3.41. Too bad that tank of gas didn't last but 2 days. I hate driving!

Pictures

2008-08-12T21:42:00.007-05:00

Just some random pics.

We have tons of grasshoppers in the backyard. Big ones, small ones, you name it. Lilly plays in the yard for hours chasing them. Here is her determined look. She's seen something move and now she must get it!

I think these two were fighting or something.

Fluffy Sam after a bath.

I LOVE adirondack chairs!!

Here this dude looks like he's holding on for dear life.

This shot would have been a million times greater if that piece of grass hadn't been in the way.

New Product I LOVE!!!

2008-08-10T17:43:00.003-05:00

Today we've been mopping, dusting, vacumming, re-arranging furniture, you name it. Busy busy! I had seen this great product in my Real Simple magazine(one of my fav magazines!!) and finally found it today in Target! Its from the Scotch 3m people. Its called a Fur Fighter.

I'm pretty skeptical on the supposed pet hair removal products because most of them don't work. Like lint/hair rollers, even our Dyson vacuum doesn't do that well on the furniture. I do love my Dyson for everything else though! Back to this wonderful product, first swipe over the couch and it picked up the hair. Not just a few pieces of dog hair, but all of it!! I had a little mini-freak-out! Ben looked at me strangely, but he doesn't understand. I hate having people over and apologizing for the dog hair on the furniture. We have done the whole, take the covers off the cushions, throw in the dryer on air fluff and that semi-works. This works so much better!! Just wanted to share! Back to cleaning!! Check it out here from the 3m website.

My 24th Birthday!!

2008-08-09T19:54:00.003-05:00

I know, I know, its been forever, but I doubt you've missed my posts. Here are a few pics from my birthday! I had fun!! Got to eat great food with great friends. I got surprise cupcakes (thanks Lindsey and Heath!!!) and even danced some during the night! (Yeah surprised myself with that one too!)

Me, Court, Lindsey

Me and Lindsey at Brickhouse

Ben and I before leaving

Heath and Lindsey

Us again. (sorry I like the pic and I dont like too many of myself)

Cupcakes!!!

Sorry not telling my wish!

Me and Kelsie

The whole gang!! Thanks for coming out!!!

sigh

2008-08-01T21:56:00.003-05:00

I'm finding out that its kinda hard to type with a wrist brace on, but my wrist hurts so I must. My wrist has really really been bothering me lately. Between not being able to pick things up to the tingly numbing feeling, I decided it was time to do something. I have my nerve test scheduled for Aug 25th. I can't say I'm one bit excited about it. I've heard it really really hurts. If anyone knows different or has any information about it, I'd really appreciate it! I assume after I have the test and get the results back I will get to see a different doctor and will potentially have surgery. I could be totally wrong about this but I have a good (well bad)feeling that I'm not. Anyone ever had carpal tunnel? or the surgery for it? I'm not one bit excited about surgery. Thats more unknown territory for me and I dont like unknown territory. I'll just take it one step at a time.

This last weekend we got to go to a Rebirds game for free! Ben's work reserved a room for everyone. We got food catered and covered seating (awesome because it rained!) I got to meet some people he worked with, as well as his bosses/owners. Everyone was nice, it just kinda reminded me of high school, where everyone went off in their own little groups and such. That kind of annoyed me, but this was all free, who really cares. We got two foul balls too.

We also tried two new restuarants. The first one was Godsey's Grill. The food was pretty good and dessert was yummy too! We also tried Brickhouse Grill. It's not really a new place, we'd just never been there. We're going back to Brickhouse tomorrow for my birthday. I'm excited,I think. I'm just tired.

OH-Thanks for the suggestions on purse places. I did go look at TJMaxx. Nothing really jumped out at me and said "Buy me." I'm still on the lookout though.

Stuff

2008-07-30T20:57:00.002-05:00

Just a few things. I still haven't told you about my weekend but I dont have time tonight to do that, so I leave you with a picture of my doggie, Sam. He's lazy, really lazy. But cute!

This is a painting I started over the weekend and finished up yesterday. Not sure where I'm gonna hang it. My frustrations from not passing my test led to this. I wish my creative moments came more often, not just after frustrations or whatever. I'm kinda proud of this one.

Purses

2008-07-28T10:35:00.002-05:00

I need a new purse and seeing as how my birthday is next sunday, I think I deserve one. :) My problem is that I'm picky and dont particularly like to spend a ton on a purse. I've looked everywhere for one. All the stores in the mall, various other stores, online, etc. I know I technically haven't looked everywhere...so I'm asking my readers...all 3 or 4 of you (haha) to give me some places to look. This can be online or in stores. Anything would be helpful! Thanks!!

Backyard Friends

2008-07-27T10:10:00.005-05:00

***Warning***The following are pictures of things in our backyard...if you dont like spiders...dont look! If you do look, don't say I didn't warn you, thats if you dont like spiders.***End Warning*** There are also some cloud pictures at the bottom.

These little dudes are hanging out in our backyard, eating all the bugs. YAY! I think they're pretty with their colors and stuff. I don't particularly like spiders, but these are cool looking. Front and back yard combined, we probably have about 5 or 6.

My husband took these pics this morning of a little storm that rolled through. I dont think it even rained, but the clouds looked pretty cool.

interesting finds...

2008-07-26T10:12:00.006-05:00

I'm too tired to really re-live last week and it seems so long ago, so I'm not gonna make you endure that either. You'll thank me, seeing as how I'm not a great writer anyway. I'll sum up the trip to Dallas, since that was the most exciting part of my week. Flight went well, and if you know my short crappy history with flying thats a good thing. I think Murphy's Law, "if anything can go wrong, it will," totally applies to me with flying. My first experience involved 6 delays, running across DFW to catch a connecting flight in about 15 mins, 3 cancellations, and an extra overnight stay. So this time, no connecting flight. YAY! I even checked my bag, so there was my chance for something to go wrong. Everything flying and bag wise went great! My bag even beat me home! The bad part was driving, well directions. Get my rental car. Miss my first turn after getting out of the rental place, so I have to turn around. That was just the beginning of the turning around. I had no navigational system, so I relied on my printed google directions. These were wrong! I made it to everywhere I needed to go, it would've just helped if the people in my company would have told me to go to the right place before I went to the wrong place. Being lost in a big city is not fun! I made it though, went to where I was supposed to go, pretty much wasn't needed. I totally felt like a therapist or something. The tech new how to do everything,she had even scanned patients before I got there. I was just there to hear her vent. Which really after my driving around lost fiasco, was fine with me. I didn't have to teach, I just listened. (In my defense, TX road systems and on and off ramps and stuff are very strange. Arkansas isn't bad once you try theirs out!)

Enough of that, I have to show off what I bought on thursday! I saw this Cupcake Courier on Craftzine a long time ago and always wanted one. We went in this store in Memphis, called Swoozie's and they had them for sale! They were also cheaper than they sell them on the website, so I snagged one up! They're completely sold out online. Now I've gotta bake some cupcakes and take somewhere!

Guess what crocs makes now?? *drum roll please* These

Personally, I think high-heeled crocs are wrong! Maybe they're comfy, who knows? They say this about them:

it’s true! the first crocs™ high heel. fashion fused with comfort for the ultimate summer style

• incredible 3 inch heel designed with the classic comfort of croslite™ material
• spices up any fashionista’s wardrobe
• lightweight and easy to bring along
• footbed conforms to foot creating custom fit
• circulation nubs stimulate blood flow

Oh and they come in various color selections so you can get a pair for every outfit! Only $49.99. What will they come up with next!?!?

*Update* I found another pair of crocs with 3 in heels. These are about $10 cheaper and come with more color selections than the previous pair but still have the added comfort and 3 in heel.

so tired...

2008-07-24T21:46:00.002-05:00

Just a brief update:

Friday-7/18: longest day of work ever! Got asked to fly to Dallas Sunday

Sunday-7/20: Flew to Dallas

Monday-7/21: Worked in Dallas/Denton, TX, Flew home

Tuesday-7/22: Got home about 1 am, went to work at 7am, another long day

Wednesday-7/23: Another early morning-up at 4 am, long work day

Thursday-7/24: Took a test for work, got up again at 4 am, drove two hrs to take the test, didn't pass, retail therapy and Olive Garden helped, and a nap on the way home.

Basically I'm ready to crash, hoping to do that tomorrow afternoon. Complete, lengthier update soon.

It was only the beginning...

2008-07-16T20:53:00.002-05:00

I'm afraid my ER visit was only the beginning of my medical stuff to come. I had my follow-up appointment today. He told me he doesn't think its my gallbladder but he put me on some antacids for a month, if the pain doesn't get better or go away to call him and I'll have another test done. Ever since I was sick, just eating triscuits and drinking water gave me indigestion, which I thought was odd but figured with all the puking I did, my stomach was still a little upset. So I have those to take. He thinks I either had a virus or possibly food poisoning. For the time being I will be avoiding Burger King and hot dogs. And those cupcake bites. ick! I didn't even eat one, but I was starting to feel bad while I made them so the thought of them doesn't appeal right now. I also told him about my wrist, that I was now having pain and not just the tingling in my fingers. So he said I really need to have that nerve test done because I most likely have carpal tunnel. SO...whether insurance will pay or not, I'm gonna have to do it. Eventually I could have permanent numbness in my hand. Then I have my other doctors appointment in August. The whole "haven't gotten pregnant and been trying for over a year" will be coming up. This will result in drugs, I'm sure, because she gave me some last time. Then possibly fertility stuff. Oh well...thats a part of growing up/getting old. You have medical problems and then tests and you deal with it.

In other news I got some cute shoes tonight. These will be my new work shoes and they could also work with jeans. I just bought a new pair of shoes for work but they already have holes in the soles. Crappy shoes!!

So far the size changes since I've lost weight have been in the bra and shoe departments. I find that funny!! I actually have dropped a shoe size,or I'm kinda in between. The 9 was actually too big and the 8.5 was tight. I went with the 9. Then in the bras. I put one on the other day and fastened it on the last set of hooks, the ones all the way over and it was still too big. Now if I could only drop a pant size!

I'm boring

2008-07-16T09:44:00.003-05:00

I think I'm a boring blogger. That could be good, meaning I have nothing interesting going on, or bad because I dont have anything interesting going on...

I'll leave you with a comic my husband emailed me. A little backstory always helps though. We bought the WiiFit. Used it alot, him more than me actually. We haven't used it so much recently, and I keep asking him when or if he's ever gonna get on it again. This is his answer.

That came from here.

Word Cloud

2008-07-14T10:47:00.003-05:00

Found this link on another blog but can't remember which one. It's a word cloud. You can do your own here or check out the gallery for ones other people have made.

Here's mine:

You can click on it to see the bigger version.

My trips to the ER

2008-07-13T17:30:00.005-05:00

**TMI WARNING**

Oh yeah...and its gonna be long...sorry!

It all started Thursday afternoon. I had great plans to make these cupcake bites I had seen on Bakerella's blog. I was too the point of making the cake balls into cute little cupcakes and I started to not feel so well. I did about half of them and decided to take a break. Time passes and really I just feel the need to throw up. I hate throwing up, really I dont know who likes doing it honestly. I already had problems in the other end of my digestive track (I'll spare you the details). I turned down even the mention of supper, so while the husband was gone to take some movies back and get him something to eat, I finally puked. I felt a whole ton better, pretty much thought I would be fine. Boy was I wrong!

I ended up throwing up several several times over about a 3 hr period. I was having other issues at the same time, if ya catch my drift. It was hitting me about every 20 mins. I'd feel good enough to take a drink of water only for it to come back up later. Finally, I decided to go to the ER because at this point, I had nothing left in my system to throw up. I remember weighing myself earlier in the day and in my sickly state, I went ahead for kicks and weighed myself before we left. I had lost 7lbs!! Granted I had changed into lighter clothes but I know my jeans don't weigh 7lbs!

I feel okay on the drive there. We, or I decided to go to the ER where I used to work. I figure I know these people, atleast they'll know I'm not one of the regulars that comes in for drugs. Plus, I've never been to the ER in my life. I'm in the triage room where they find out why you're there and get all your vitals. Its a nurse I didn't really know. After I explain everything, she looks at me and says "What made you decide you needed to come to the ER tonight?" I wanted to scream, but I calmly said because I couldn't stop throwing up and all that. It was one of those, "I just told you why, lady!?!" Get to the room, unfortunately I'm next to some really obnoxious guy from town. He was talking so SO loud!

Anywho, the Dr. comes in, its one i'm not particularly fond of because when I worked nights, hes the one you hate working with, but I was sick, I'll deal. Just make me stop puking! He's in the room less that two mins to hear my problems and leaves. The nurse comes in to draw blood and give me a shot of Phenergran. About 2 mins after I get the shot I start violently puking again. I was later told that I kept looking at my husband like make it stop. He gets the nurse in there and she calmly says "Well it won't go into effect right away." And she walks out. (This nurses voice reminded me of the lady off the Mary Tyler Moore show, Georgette. Mom and Ben can vouch for me that she sounded something like that. SO annoying) My mom comes up there to sit in the room with us. I have to give a urine sample, which normally wouldn't be problem, except for the fact that I'm so dehydrated I have no pee in me. The annoying nurse threatens me with an in and out cath if I don't pee. So I try, nothing. She says "Well I can't imagine you would already be that dehydrated." Apparently she didn't get the picture about how much I had puked and done other things before coming to the ER. So I have to have the cath, which wasn't that horrible, just humiliating. Shes like "Oh I guess you are that dehydrated" DUH! All those tests came back normal, except my White Blood Cell count. It was high. So the doc comes in and is very serious and more attentive this time. Tells me what he thinks, he thinks maybe appendicitis, but I'm not hurting. So in the end he tells me to be at my fam docs office first thing Friday morning and they'll work me in.

They're in the process of getting ready to discharge me so the nurse comes in to check my blood pressure. At this point, I've been up and down to go and try to pee and had to change my clothes. I'm not feeling so hot. They take my blood pressure while i'm laying down. Its really low. So she has me sit up, I feel so bad, I dont wanna sit up, but of course I do. It's still low. So she wants me to stand up. It seemed like it took forever for it to take my blood pressure and things were getting a little fuzzy. Before it can take it I start throwing up again. My bp is 85/54 or something. More puking..yay! I think they finally believe that I'm not there to just get meds or that I'm lying about it. So the other nurse, that I know, comes in to start an IV and give me fluids. Apparently the previous nurse, didn't relay any of my info to him because he tells me that he thought I only threw up once that whole time!! I wanted to say hell no but I didn't. So I get my bag of fluids and feel a TON better. I was told I was greenish looking at one point...really wouldn't know. I got to go home about 1 am. Let me point out that I go home with no explanation as to why I'm puking or anything. They give me antibiotics and nausea meds and tell me to follow up with my doc in the morning. I would've liked some conclusion to all that, but no.

So I get home, shower and lay down. I was gonna take more phenergran but I fell asleep. Only to wake up about 3 am for another round of it all. I notice my side is hurting. Not a good thing. I ignore it this time, go back to bed, only to wake up again. I just love this repeating cycle, dont you? Finally about 5 am, I tell ben that I'm hurting. At that time the pain felt low, appendix like but I was also doubled over laying down. I end up making a few phone calls, one to my mom, another to a friend and to someone I used to work with. I figure if it is appendix or any other organ, I'd be better off at the ER in the bigger city than waiting til 8 to go to the doc. Plus they were working me in, which could take a while, and then seeing him, then finding out if i needed tests, waiting for tests, so and so forth. You get the picture. I make it to the ER at shift change, which must be a great time to go. They took my name and before I could set down, they called me over to get vitals and all that. So I repeat everything that had already happened and the new pain, which by now was higher than appendix and going around in my back.

I get in a room and the doctor comes right in. He was very nice, gave me ice chips which I was dying for. (I'll try to make this short) They drew blood, did an ultrasound on my gallbladder. Basically everything came out normal, except I was dehydrated, which was kinda a no brainer. He said he thought it was all just a virus and I needed to follow up with my family doctor in a week. The doctor ran a pregnancy test because my antibiotics are apparently "very strong" as he put it. He asked if they ran one the night before, I assume yes but they never told me. I would hope that by giving me the antibiotics meant they did atleast check that, but you never know, again I wasn't told anything! My awesome ER doc even called me on his own personal cell phone to tell me that my pregnancy test was negative. I was kinda shocked that it wasn't the nurse or something. The second ER visit was much less uneventful and I kinda felt a little stupid for going but the pain worried me and it obviously didn't feel good.

If that was a virus, I never want anything like that EVER again!! Friday night I finally started eating a little. Just crackers, actually triscuits because thats all we had. I was so hungry that I finished the box sometime Saturday. I hadn't eaten anthing since 11 am on Thursday. I think I'm finally back to normal. My antibiotics make me a little dizzy but other than that I'm feeling better. I lost 4 lbs and found out I'm allergic to the bandaids and tape they use in the hospitals. I'm going back to work tomorrow, even though my boss thinks I should take a week off. I can't do a week, I'd go stir crazy. Hope you enjoyed my story! lol

I'm alive...

2008-07-11T19:07:00.002-05:00

I survived two trips to the ER in two days. These being my first and second trips EVER to the ER. I'll have more later, i'm tired...just wanted you all to know I will have real update soon.

-10 lbs!!

2008-07-07T07:58:00.001-05:00

Finally! I've lost 10 lbs!! I'm so freakin excited!! Took me a little longer than I wanted but hopefully that means I won't gain it all back. Now If I'd just start working out I might lose it faster!!

Obsessed...

2008-07-06T17:41:00.003-05:00

As you can see and read my obsessions lately have been baking and taking pictures. Today we baked apple crisp. We used Fiji and Granny Smith Apples. I personally think we should've only used the granny smith ones, but then again those are my favorite. We bought the apples before we found the recipe, but they worked. I think we should've used a bigger dish or less topping. It was still yummy though!

My other obsession has been taking pictures...of everything. Nothing wrong with that, I suppose. I've actually caught myself wishing I had it with me on the way to and from work sometimes. Its too big to lug around though and I can't keep it in my car because of the heat and I dont want to get it out at some of the places I work. So for now, I'll deal.

Here are a few pics from today:

Other than all that all I've really been doing is working. Work is work. It has its usual excitements or crazy things that happen with patients, but nothing too out of the ordinary. I've learned to just go with the flow on lots of things. Really all I can do anymore is laugh when something doesn't go as planned or like I want it to. Whats the saying "We make plans. God laughs." Yeah thats my life. So I just laugh right along with Him. And try to make fewer plans.

The 4th was fun. We went swimming, well I floated around. I dont swim. But I still had fun. I tried those new pasta things from Pizza Hut. The chicken alfredo was really good! We set off fireworks and watched some that other people had set off around the neighborhood. Overall, I had a really good time!

I'm off tomorrow! YAY! But I'm going in to clean, which is fine because I get paid for it.

Only 60 days til relaxation!!

In other news, my husband got a promotion at work last week! He is now a level I programmer. I'm really happy for him since that is what he originally started out wanted to do back in the college days. I just hope he won't be bringing home too much work with him. Oh and I lost another pound, I guess we'll say 2 wks ago. This week I maintained which is perfectly fine with me since I way over ate over the weekend. I'd rather stay the same than gain. Everyone is saying how they can tell, me personally, I cannot. I do think I'll be needing a smaller bathing suit before vacation. :)

Pictures!!!

2008-07-06T16:36:00.004-05:00

This little dude was hanging out on the back of my adirondack chair Friday morning.

I LOVE this pic!! We played with sparklers friday night. Thanks to Court and Linds for the help!!

Happy 4th!!

2008-07-04T14:05:00.005-05:00

We had lots of fresh peaches and my new baking dish begging to be used. SO...we made peach cobbler.

I've never made any kind of cobbler in my life, but this turned out pretty well I think.

Now we're off to enjoy swimming, pizza, fireworks and good fun with friends!

Hope everyone has a great 4th of July!!

My Weekend, Part 2

2008-07-02T16:45:00.002-05:00

After the baby shower, we ventured over to The Container Store. That was a cool store! Everyone must check one out sometime. I'm a big organazational freak, even though my house doesn't look like it all the time, but I love finding cool stuff or new stuff. They have everything from closet organizers, to desks, to kitchen stuff, to wrapping paper, travel stuff, etc. It goes on and on. Right now they're having a big travel sale and free shipping on some items. Our favorite and funniest moment in there was when we were walking around and saw this huge section of trashcans. A worker walked past us, and in a very excited tone says "Don't you just love trashcans!!" We kinda just looked at each other and laughed. We think they put something through the venting system to make all their employees happy, happy, happy.

I also got to go in my first Williams-Sonoma store. We tried some free samples. My favorite was the caramel apple bread. I couldn't find it on the website, but it was really good. We also sampled the Cherry Blossom Sling drink. I'm pretty sure there wasn't any alcohol in it but it really really tasted like their was. I couldn't drink it all, it was so strong, or tart. I would like to get this Pizza Que Grill for my husband. We keep talking about grilling pizza, but not extremely sure how to go about it. I think this would be nice to have. He'd really like this, but no. There were a ton of cool things in that store.

My Weekend, Part 1

2008-07-01T21:10:00.003-05:00

We had a baby shower for a co-worker this weekend. We actually managed to keep it a surprise from her as well. The boss told everyone that it was a mandatory meeting and we were going to get griped out. Of course everyone knew except the pregnant one. hehe. For a gift, we all pitched in and got a bunch of stuff. The boss and I ended up making a diaper cake. It turned out to be a 4 tiered one. Here are some pics of it:

About Me

2008-06-28T07:44:00.003-05:00

Just some tidbits about me:

~I have been married for almost 4 yrs. It'll be 4 in Dec. We dated for 4 1/2 years before getting married. We've known each other for almost 9 years. WOW! Where has the time gone?
~I have two dogs, Sam and Lilly.
~I do MRI's for a living for a mobile company. I also do X-ray and CT or CAT Scan.
~I dont know how to swim but I LOVE the beach and ocean
~I like oreos with peanut butter
~I love to paint, draw, photograph, etc. Be Crafty!!
~I love the smell of rain
~I love spring and fall, for the temperatures (although they aren't normal here in arkansas) and the flowers and trees
~I just took my first plane ride in April. It was cool!
~I have crooked big toes
~Children's allergy or cough medicine makes me extremely loopy but alcohol doesn't seem to affect me. Strange!
~I really do talk alot once you get to know me, or I get to know you. I'm just shy at first, then you can't shut me up
~One of my fav and meaningful Christmas presents is hanging in my hallway. My grandfather was the postmaster for many many years, he saved everything. One thing was a Love stamp poster from the 80's with a dog on it. After he passed away in 06, my mom found it as she was helping my grandma go through his things. She saved it for me and got it framed. I dont think she knew how much it meant to me.
~I still have issues knowing that I was the only grandchild not with him in his last moments.
~I like cheese doritoes and bean dip
~i blush easily..its a curse
~Cranberry slushes are my fav from Sonic, with extra cranberry!
~Lately I hate listening to the radio because its all the same songs, over and over.
~We bought our first house in January.
~We moved 3 times in the first 6 months we were married
~I absolutely hate moving, mainly for the reason above
~I hate painting about as much
~I don't wear makeup often...dont have time and I dont really care
~I dont like the taste of coffee but I love the smell
~I want to own and run a coffee shop one day
~I love apple cider

I must go get ready for the events today. Enjoy the list, I felt the need to type this morning.

sigh

2008-06-28T07:25:00.002-05:00

It's been a fun couple of weeks. I totally mean fun in the most sarcastic sense. Work was kinda stressing me out these last two weeks. Between dealing with my stresses over working with friends. When I say friends, I mean I've known my boss for over 6 years and she was my friend before my boss. Now she's my boss and my friend. Those lines get blurred sometimes and its just been getting to me lately. And also I have another friend who works with me. She's my sidekick, partner in crime. Known her all my life, friends before work as well and now we work together. The two friends aren't friends. Well they are, but not like know each other outside of work I guess you could say. Or they didn't till now.

Anywho, lately the stress of work and friends at work and me trying to be the peacemaker has just taken a toll on me. I've worked for this company for almost two years and it never really bothered me like this. I try to make sure everyone is happy before myself. While this is ok sometimes, really I should be happy too. I try to be the peacemaker in situations, because I dont wannt piss anyone else off, so instead I'll be miserable. After some events in the last two wks, I've decided no longer to be the peacemaker. I'm not saying I won't help people, or not be nice anymore, I'm just not gonna necessarily put my two cents in on things. Lately all its gotten me is grief. I say something about a situation and all the other person thinks is that I'm defending the other person because I'm friends with them. This was even said to me. I'm not usually saying things because I'm defending them, only because I'm just trying to see things from their point of view, or even my experiences with something similar.

This is with all my co-workers, not with the two briefly mentioned. And this is also just in my life in general. I've always been the peacemaker, or atleast tried. I think its time I move on, make myself happy, and let others figure out a few things on their own. Not sure why I ever appointed myself with that position in the first place.

Overall things have been going well since me quitting as peacemaker. I think I've been a lot happier and less stressed. I was also over thinking things. I dont know why I do that, I guess I just dont have enough to do, so I think and think and think.

I wish I was a better writer. This all sounds so much better in my head. Maybe I should write it down and then come back and type it. If none of this made sense, I apologize. It is early and I couldn't sleep. My body has gotten used to waking up at 5 am everyday.

Dustin-I will email you the codes I used to not make the background in your blog body. It just wont be today. I'm going to try my best to send it to you tomorrow. I just wanted to let you know I hadn't forgotten about you!

8's

2008-06-27T22:27:00.002-05:00

Stephanie tagged me and I feel the need to post, so this is what you get for now.

Eight things I'm passionate about: (in no particular order)

~Music-I'm a music freak. More for classical than anything. I love a good song to sing along to while in my car or whatever but I really like classical. The sounds and everything. It can move you. I'm a band nerd...what can I say?

~Photography-I absolutely love taking pictures. You can capture a moment that you may never be able to get again. I just wish I had more time for it.

~My husband-Even though we fight or argue or dont always agree, I still love him. He's a very important person in my life.

~Friends-I dont think I could live without friends. My life would be really boring and I just need to have those people in my life.

~Family-as much as some can annoy me, really I love them all and my life would be really crappy without them.

~my job/helping people-As much as I have really crappy days at work, they can be totally washed away when I know I might have helped just one person.

~My dogs-they're like my children and really I dont know what I'd do with an empty house. I'm an animal freak. I would pick up all the dogs I see walking along the road if I could...yeah I know....I'm crazy.

~DIY/Crafty stuff-I love making things, espicially doing it myself. I love being crafty and making things. I secretly live for the thrill of knowing I did it myself instead of buying it from a store or something.

Eight things I would like to do before I die:

~Go to Italy

~Have kids!

~Get a tattoo-I have my pic all picked out, I'm just too chicken to get it and dont know where I'd put it.

~See a play on broadway

~Go to the DCI competition-its a marching band thing

~Live in the OBX for longer than a week of vacation

~Go to Paris

~Go to Niagra Falls

Eight things I say alot:

~Hi my name is Leah. I'll be doing your MRI today
~Are you doing ok?
~MRI, this is Leah
~Do you need to go potty?
~What kind of trouble are you having?
~Do you have a pacemaker?
~What do you want to eat?

Eight books I have read recently (or in the process of reading):
~Nights in Rodanthe
~Barbara Walters Autobiography-got to chapter two like two months ago and haven't touched it. I dont have time to read anything
~My registry review question/answer book
~Other registry review books
~again..no time to read really

Eight movies I've seen Eight times: not a repeat movie watcher unless its on tv usually
~Mr. Holland's Opus
~Mona Lisa Smile
~Legally Blonde
~Steele Magnolias
~Shakespeare In Love
~Sweet Home Alabama
~My Big Fat Greek Wedding
~Disney Movies

Eight blogger (or blog readers) friends I tag.... if you don't have a blog, post it as a comment:
~anyone who reads this...dont think there are eight people that read this...

Summer Pictures

2008-06-21T14:49:00.004-05:00

Lilly after a long run outside

Happy Sam

We roasted marshmellows over the heat left from grilling one night :)

Our baby mimosa tree

My husband

Grilling corn

YUMMY stuff!!

Sorry...

2008-06-21T10:22:00.002-05:00

Sorry for the absence. I got busy with work mainly. I'm trying to think what has happened since I last posted.

-I changed my look on here. I'm sure that was noticeable. All I did was find a background, mine came from here. Saved it on my computer, then uploaded it to photobucket. Then I went here and followed the instructions on how to get it in your template. I did have to add some other html in so my background wasn't in the body with text. If you want specifics just let me know and I can help.

-I had a nice shopping day with a great friend. We did some baby shopping for one of our co-workers. I ate the best dessert ever from TGIFridays. I had the oreo cake. Its 4 layers of chocolate cake with buttercream and oreo cream stuff all mixed in. YUMMY! Totally not within my weight watchers points but I was splurging that day.

-Speaking of weight watchers, I lost another pound last week. So thats 8 total. I haven't weighed for this week yet, but I've kinda slacked so not sure how well I've done.

Lilly, my dog, is insisting on laying across me as i type, so i'll update more later.

Cheaper than therapy

2008-06-11T20:34:00.003-05:00

Monday night, all my moodiness, emotional-ness and stress brought on my emotional breakdown. It was probably the crapiest and one of the best nights I've had in a while, if that makes any sense. Sometimes things just get so stressful and things that crying makes me feel better. Thats like the only out to make me feel better. (I know I'm not alone in this, I know other people like that) The bad part was that my crying came on for no reason and at the wrong person. But out of the whole ordeal, where at one point I thought I had pushed away one of my great friends, I got to finally vent what had really been bothering me lately and I felt a ton better.

I've always had issues being honest with people. I'm a very truthful, follow the rules person but when it comes to telling someone something that could possibly hurt their feelings or change how they feel about me, I get scared. I'm totally a people pleaser. I'd like to say I've grown a back bone the last few years, and for a while I was doing pretty good. The last few weeks I felt like I reverted back to the old Leah. I have to quit second guessing myself, quit over analyzing and just be me. Who cares what everyone else thinks. I think I'm back to my old self.

I talked to two friends Monday night. One unforunately got to see the very emotional me, something I dont think shes seen before. I've been sleeping better, which helps alot!! Lets hope this lasts!!

I think that blogging also helps me. Its like therapy only cheaper!

Note to self and everyone: I shouldn't blog when very sleepy, things dont make sense. :) Thats my disclaimer.

Things to do...

2008-06-10T06:21:00.003-05:00

1. Relax

2. Get more sleep

3. Stop overanalyzing/overthinking everything

4. Get a porch swing (It's relaxing to sit on one for hours and watch it rain or look at the clouds etc.)

Will add more to this list later...i'm sure

Tagged

2008-06-08T20:54:00.002-05:00

Rules: Answer the following questions about yourself. At the end of the post you pass on the questions to 6 other bloggers and list their names. Then write them a comment telling them that they've been tagged and ask them to read your blog. Let the person who tagged you know that you've accepted the challenge and refer to your post.

1. What did you do 10 years ago?
10 years ago I was 13, starting high school, had my first boyfriend, got my first period ever, and was enjoying (ha) all the stresses of being a 13 year old.

2. Five items on your to-do list today: (since its late, i'll put it for tomorrow)
Get up, Go to work, Go swimming after work, cook supper, exercise.

3. Snacks I enjoy:
ice cream, fruit, chocolate

4. What would you do if you were a billionaire?
I would pay off all our bills, of course buy a few things we dont need but want. Give lots away and SAVE...well if I were a billionaire I might not need to save. I'd atleast put it back for the kids college education.

5. Places I would live:
The beach

6. Bloggers I am passing the challenge onto:
Stephanie and any other person who actually reads this and wants to do it.

Moods

2008-06-08T09:21:00.003-05:00

I've been kind of down lately. I've noticed it probably in the last two weeks. Not really for sure what brought it on, but I know everyone can have down moments. My moment has just seemed to last longer. I guess you could say I've been a little anti-social. I haven't really wanted to be around anyone. Not sure why. I've also been extremely moody. At work, I get irritated over little stupid things. I haven't been sleeping well at all. Tossing and turning all night, mostly. Waking up at strange hours. I notice I mostly do this when I have to go to work the next day. I guess my brain is scared I wont wake up on time.

I really need a vacation. I actually considered going off somewhere by myself but there were a few problems with that. 1-where to go, 2-gas is really high, 3-I can't get off work right now, timing is bad, 4-I dont like being alone that much. So for now, I'm trying to get through this. I've talked to one person that truly understands what I'm feeling. Part of what I'm feeling is the whole "If I was gone, would anybody truly miss me?" (And no this isn't a "I'm gonna go harm myself or do something crazy" So no one freak out.) I know people would miss me, but would anyone truly miss me. I dont know why I've been thinking this. I drive alot for work. I'm alone when I drive, therefore I think WAY too much when I drive. And I think about alot of stuff. Most of the time I enjoy my "thinking time" but sometimes it gets to me.

I guess this was just all brought on from stress, lack of sleep and just life getting to me. This weekend I've spent time at home with my husband. I think I'm in the "want to cling to someone stage." He's the lucky one apparently.

I'm feeling better. I think this week is gonna be better. I've just gotta snap out of it. I apologize to anyone who has to put up with me in the last few weeks...

I'm female, I can't help my moodiness. :P