Cheaper than therapy

Monday night, all my moodiness, emotional-ness and stress brought on my emotional breakdown. It was probably the crapiest and one of the best nights I've had in a while, if that makes any sense. Sometimes things just get so stressful and things that crying makes me feel better. Thats like the only out to make me feel better. (I know I'm not alone in this, I know other people like that) The bad part was that my crying came on for no reason and at the wrong person. But out of the whole ordeal, where at one point I thought I had pushed away one of my great friends, I got to finally vent what had really been bothering me lately and I felt a ton better.

I've always had issues being honest with people. I'm a very truthful, follow the rules person but when it comes to telling someone something that could possibly hurt their feelings or change how they feel about me, I get scared. I'm totally a people pleaser. I'd like to say I've grown a back bone the last few years, and for a while I was doing pretty good. The last few weeks I felt like I reverted back to the old Leah. I have to quit second guessing myself, quit over analyzing and just be me. Who cares what everyone else thinks. I think I'm back to my old self.

I talked to two friends Monday night. One unforunately got to see the very emotional me, something I dont think shes seen before. I've been sleeping better, which helps alot!! Lets hope this lasts!!

I think that blogging also helps me. Its like therapy only cheaper!

Note to self and everyone: I shouldn't blog when very sleepy, things dont make sense. :) Thats my disclaimer.

Things to do...

1. Relax

2. Get more sleep

3. Stop overanalyzing/overthinking everything

4. Get a porch swing (It's relaxing to sit on one for hours and watch it rain or look at the clouds etc.)

Will add more to this list later...i'm sure

Tagged

Rules: Answer the following questions about yourself. At the end of the post you pass on the questions to 6 other bloggers and list their names. Then write them a comment telling them that they've been tagged and ask them to read your blog. Let the person who tagged you know that you've accepted the challenge and refer to your post.

1. What did you do 10 years ago?
10 years ago I was 13, starting high school, had my first boyfriend, got my first period ever, and was enjoying (ha) all the stresses of being a 13 year old.


2. Five items on your to-do list today: (since its late, i'll put it for tomorrow)
Get up, Go to work, Go swimming after work, cook supper, exercise.

3. Snacks I enjoy:
ice cream, fruit, chocolate

4. What would you do if you were a billionaire?
I would pay off all our bills, of course buy a few things we dont need but want. Give lots away and SAVE...well if I were a billionaire I might not need to save. I'd atleast put it back for the kids college education.

5. Places I would live:
The beach

6. Bloggers I am passing the challenge onto:
Stephanie and any other person who actually reads this and wants to do it.

Moods

I've been kind of down lately. I've noticed it probably in the last two weeks. Not really for sure what brought it on, but I know everyone can have down moments. My moment has just seemed to last longer. I guess you could say I've been a little anti-social. I haven't really wanted to be around anyone. Not sure why. I've also been extremely moody. At work, I get irritated over little stupid things. I haven't been sleeping well at all. Tossing and turning all night, mostly. Waking up at strange hours. I notice I mostly do this when I have to go to work the next day. I guess my brain is scared I wont wake up on time.

I really need a vacation. I actually considered going off somewhere by myself but there were a few problems with that. 1-where to go, 2-gas is really high, 3-I can't get off work right now, timing is bad, 4-I dont like being alone that much. So for now, I'm trying to get through this. I've talked to one person that truly understands what I'm feeling. Part of what I'm feeling is the whole "If I was gone, would anybody truly miss me?" (And no this isn't a "I'm gonna go harm myself or do something crazy" So no one freak out.) I know people would miss me, but would anyone truly miss me. I dont know why I've been thinking this. I drive alot for work. I'm alone when I drive, therefore I think WAY too much when I drive. And I think about alot of stuff. Most of the time I enjoy my "thinking time" but sometimes it gets to me.

I guess this was just all brought on from stress, lack of sleep and just life getting to me. This weekend I've spent time at home with my husband. I think I'm in the "want to cling to someone stage." He's the lucky one apparently.

I'm feeling better. I think this week is gonna be better. I've just gotta snap out of it. I apologize to anyone who has to put up with me in the last few weeks...

I'm female, I can't help my moodiness. :P

pics

Here are a few pics of the dogs...

7

I have lost 7 lbs since I started weight watchers! I was pretty excited when I stepped on the scale last sunday and saw it was 3lbs less than the previous sunday. So I guess my next goal is 10 and then who knows from there. I'm just excited its working. Some people have told me they can tell, personally I can't tell at all. There are a few shirts that might seem a little big, but they seemed big before too.

I discovered grilled corn on the cob this week. It was soooo good!! I've been on a grilling kick lately. Grilled Chicken, hot dogs. Not so much into beef lately. We got some corn at Kroger earlier this week and threw it on the grill. I have to say that was the best corn on the cob I think I've ever had!!

Since my camera is fixed now, I took pictures. Yes I did. I'm a picture freak and I'm even going to post them here on my blog for you to enjoy.

On a side note, I went shopping and got my hair cut w/a friend yesterday. EVERY person we saw was either pregnant or had a newborn. How much torture is that?!? The funny thing is I've kinda grown numb to it all and ignore it, but my friend was like how do you deal with this? It bugged her and she doesn't even want to have kids just yet. I told her I just have hope that I'll eventually have one of my own. Is there a water fountain somewhere I need to drink out of? hehe

Pictures in the next post.

Diaper Cake

I made a diaper cake today. I think it turned out pretty well, if I do say so!! I'm planning on making one for a co-worker, so I figured it'd be good to practice. One of my husbands co-workers is pregnant, so I decided to make it for her. It was fairly easy. The longest part was rolling all the diapers up and getting them situated on the cake. There are 3 tiers on this one. Top is kinda hard to see becuase of the bunny on top. Some of the ones I've seen online sell for alot of $$$ and I'm totally a DIY-er. I just wish I knew more people to make them for, I think I'm kinda obsessed with making pretty stuff. :) You could definitely make a business out of it if ya wanted.

Hey if anybody wants one for someone, let me know. I would totally make one for ya...just need specifics.