*sigh*

It's been a fun couple of weeks. I totally mean fun in the most sarcastic sense. Work was kinda stressing me out these last two weeks. Between dealing with my stresses over working with friends. When I say friends, I mean I've known my boss for over 6 years and she was my friend before my boss. Now she's my boss and my friend. Those lines get blurred sometimes and its just been getting to me lately. And also I have another friend who works with me. She's my sidekick, partner in crime. Known her all my life, friends before work as well and now we work together. The two friends aren't friends. Well they are, but not like know each other outside of work I guess you could say. Or they didn't till now.

Anywho, lately the stress of work and friends at work and me trying to be the peacemaker has just taken a toll on me. I've worked for this company for almost two years and it never really bothered me like this. I try to make sure everyone is happy before myself. While this is ok sometimes, really I should be happy too. I try to be the peacemaker in situations, because I dont wannt piss anyone else off, so instead I'll be miserable. After some events in the last two wks, I've decided no longer to be the peacemaker. I'm not saying I won't help people, or not be nice anymore, I'm just not gonna necessarily put my two cents in on things. Lately all its gotten me is grief. I say something about a situation and all the other person thinks is that I'm defending the other person because I'm friends with them. This was even said to me. I'm not usually saying things because I'm defending them, only because I'm just trying to see things from their point of view, or even my experiences with something similar.

This is with all my co-workers, not with the two briefly mentioned. And this is also just in my life in general. I've always been the peacemaker, or atleast tried. I think its time I move on, make myself happy, and let others figure out a few things on their own. Not sure why I ever appointed myself with that position in the first place.

Overall things have been going well since me quitting as peacemaker. I think I've been a lot happier and less stressed. I was also over thinking things. I dont know why I do that, I guess I just dont have enough to do, so I think and think and think.

I wish I was a better writer. This all sounds so much better in my head. Maybe I should write it down and then come back and type it. If none of this made sense, I apologize. It is early and I couldn't sleep. My body has gotten used to waking up at 5 am everyday.

Dustin-I will email you the codes I used to not make the background in your blog body. It just wont be today. I'm going to try my best to send it to you tomorrow. I just wanted to let you know I hadn't forgotten about you!